Hi,

It seems like you got some really good advice from your LC, which is great. Try to stick with it. I imagine that you can ring her for support.
It concerns me when people (esp health professionals) talk about babies being "lazy" or having "bad habits". Babies are born to breastfeed. If she doesn't it's because she can't, not because she is lazy. We all do what we can to get by. Babies are really very resilient and flexible. And they forgive us our mistake, because we are the world to them.
Do you know that you can express, store the milk in the pump bottle, screw on a teat and feed straight from that? Best to minimise cleaning, and sterilisation is completely unnecessary. You are better off pumping often for short times than infrequently for long times.
Have you tried babyled attachment? It helps you get in tune with your baby's subtle cues that she needs a feed. You baby should be in just her nappy, and you toppless (in bed is good! - or the bath) Just let her rest on your chest, vertical, between your breasts. Give her little back a massage. Talk to her. This is a way of being with her not something you "do" once or several times a day. If she feeds, fabulous. If not, that's cool too. she will find the sound of your heartbeat soothing and will be quite happy there. As she wakes, she will start to bob up and down on your chest, maybe sort of pecking from side to side. Then, often, she will throw herself sideways towards one breast. With minimal assistance you can help her to the breast. If the nipple shield helps, try that too.
You haven't talked about the birth, but I am guessing there would be a story there, too. Tell us about it if you'd like to. Birth experience often has a big impact on breastfeeding.
When you can do no more, send your dd for a cuddle with grandma and granpa - leave them with the bottles and head to bed. I know your dp has been ill - but birth is a huge event for your body to deal with, even if it was textbook perfect. You need to let yourself heal
Warm Regards
Barb