thread: The co-sleeping has to end ... DH and I need a decent sleep!

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    Brisbane
    1,621

    Thanks Mel, I think ... I take my hat off to you, cos I can't imagine putting up with DS1's antics for another 18 months. However, I know what you mean about screaming banshees in the middle of the night!

    How do you get on with your other children? It's at the back of my mind that our DS2 might want to join the party sometime soon ...

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Sunny Qld
    14,682

    DD1 comes into our bed every night for a bottle, but then she's back into her bed, and she's fine with that. Its very rare that she wants in our bed, she likes her own space. And if she is in our bed, god help us if we touch her, omg - talk about a screaming banshee.

    DD2 has only been in our bed a handful of times, seems she is the same as her sister.

    However - this only started with DS once he went into a big bed at 22 months - so I'm not going to say that DD2 will never do it too.. LOL

    I'd seriously stick DS back in a cot if I could.. LOL

  3. #3

    Jul 2009
    Out North, Vic
    8,538

    Instead of opening his door are you able to leave it shut? Can he open it himself in the dark?
    Is his room warm enough, he might be getting cold and waking and wanting to come find you?
    Could you use one of those dummy clips for the 2nd dummy?

    DD1 is in a bed and we shut her door completely and don't open it at all, she has no night light or anything but seems to be able to find the door in the dark and let herself out if she needs to.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    brisbane
    3,975

    Sleep deprivation sucks!

    We have an open door policy I dont think its good for a baby to be locked in thier room but if you feel its right for you then do it. It must be scry having a door closed on you when you dont quite understand especially if he is struggling with bedtime already? Maybe leave it ajar with a hall light on so he knows where to go?
    Is he going through a major change, learning something new, having a growth spurt? Have you thought about maybe bringing his bed into your room and slowly getting him to sleep in the bed all night then moving it into his room? What about starting him in your bed then moving him?
    My DS1 has started sleeping in our bed again...some nights he will sleep in his bed...but we make sure he is always welcome into our bed cause I dont want him to be affraid of sleep

    Good luck hun I hope you work something outx

  5. #5
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jun 2005
    Blue Mountains
    5,086

    Our 2 yr old still comes in, and like your DS is usually stealthy enough for us not to notice until the next morning haha. We've had a rough few nights of her tossing and turning and carrying on at 3am, but we've also been sick with the flu lately so I'm allowing for that for a time.

    I was going to suggest putting him back in his bed, but as I read more of your post, realised you have already tried this. Would he sleep on a mattress on the floor in your room?

    Maybe it's time to wean him from the dummies. They might be causing him to wake up in the first place as well as the nuisance they're causing you guys.

    I don't really have any other suggestions. We're still just going with the flow ourselves at the moment. DS eventually just started sleeping right through in his own bed and climbs in with us in the morning. Still waiting for DD to sleep right through. Maybe I need to take my own advice about the dummy LOL and get rid of it. Who knows.

    Hope you can get back to more restful sleep soon!

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Jun 2007
    Brisbane
    1,621

    Thanks so much for your replies.

    Mel - if only I could put DS1 back in a cot I'd do it in a heartbeat. I suspect he might object though

    ZF - I think I'd only close DS1's door as a very last option. Although he's 2.5years, he hasn't got the knack of opening the door knob yet (which is ok by us!) . We've actually tried it a couple of times, but both times he's walked straight into the closed door, which (a) scares him and (b) creates a very upset little boy. A dummy clip isn't a bad idea either though I'd prefer to wean him off them rather than enable the behaviour, if that makes sense.

    Boomba - DS1 isn't going though anything that I'm aware of, but he's had his grandparents nearby for the last couple of months, and they returned home interstate two weeks ago. We think this is why he's looking for reassurance when he first goes to bed, moreso than coming into us during the night, which I think he now does purely out of habit. He thinks it's perfectly normal to come and sleep with mum and dad . I like your idea about getting a mattress into our room for him. And no, like you, I don't want to make sleeping on his own a scary thing so I'm super reluctant to take a hard line about the co-sleeping. If only he'd sleep without causing us the dramas! Sigh ...

    Liz - Yep, think the fairy dummy might have to make an appearance soon

    We'll see how we go tonight.. I might even crawl into DS1's king single and sleep with him so DH can get a good night's sleep. He can return the favour later in the week!

    Hmmm, thank goodness DS2 sleeps through the night!

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    brisbane
    3,975


    We'll see how we go tonight.. I might even crawl into DS1's king single and sleep with him so DH can get a good night's sleep. He can return the favour later in the week!
    Good idea it will reassure him that your near. SLow and gentle is better than trying for a quick fix even though it may cause more sleepless nights Hope you work out a way that works hun and once you do send some sleepy vibes my way xx

  8. #8
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber

    Jan 2006
    11,633

    Yeah, maybe sleeping with him in his bed might be worth a try...? At least you can take it in turns getting some sleep. Or the mattress on the floor.
    DS rarely cosleeps now, but he is a terrible bed hog and very fidgetty, so I feel your pain. But, he's great in his own bed if we find ourselves squeezed in there helping him get back to sleep - he's learned the hard way that if he rolls around too much he'll fall out!
    We have to close the doors as the cat will take up residence on the bed and DS hates that. But he doesn't get out of bed in the night anyway, just yells for us till mum or dad turns up. Anyway, when he does come into bed with me DH sleeps in DS' bed

    It sounds like the dummies are also becoming more trouble than their worth. Good luck with everything!