Hello!

As some of you may know, remember, we have had quite the journey so far with DD3: from her threatening to evacuate the uterus early, to her developing seizures from about 4 months of age (at one stage 100+ a day).

We are on 3-6 monthly visits with her neurologist and for the last two visits have hoped that it would be the discharge visit lol...no such luck, she keeps changing up her seizures aka 'moments of quirky' as we like to call them. But that is an aside...

Basically, I have, for quite some time now, held a pretty quiet concern for her social development. rationally i can see that at her worst, she was just so so tired and had nothing left to give in terms of communicating and playing: she went from a babbling, belly laughing baby to a baby that would just lie there and wait for the next seizure. during the hellish 4 months of repeated attacks she went from sitting and trying to feed herself to not doing that and not rolling etc (i posted about that ages ago).

Anyway, each check up i have with the MCHN and the neuro they all tell me that she appears to be on track. On many levels i agree: she is a super happy toddler, that wants to play. However my worry stems from the fact that I *think* she beats to a slightly off kilter drum. And I wonder if it is the after effects of what she has gone through?

Some examples:

Hates to have her body restricted in any way and it is especially apparent at night time (when most of her seizures have happened in the past). we cannot for love or money have her in socks, sleep bags or footed onesies. and it's apocalyptic if we do.

Does not interact with people that are not part of her inner core. I have noticed as she gets older that her seeming compliance and gentle behaviour when being held by friends is in fact, sheer terror. she freezes up, tries not to blink and will not, for love or money, make eye contact with them. Once they pass her back to me or put her down she then bursts into tears.

She doesnt babble. She used to, but now only 'speaks' occasionally. she loves our dog and calls out to her and to myself and DH, but shows no interest in other words. Although on this i think she is fairly within the realm of normal development when i see kids in her peer group she appears to be really behind ITMS.

It hit me yesterday as we went for coffee with friends and a lady came in with her 14 month old DD. Instantly i was talking, smiling and interacting with her DD and she was interacting back...it hit me that my DD3 just doesnt do that. It's moments like that when i get out and about and see other kids around her age that i really start to raise some flags of concern. if i live in my bubble and stay at home, it is a bit of a struggle but I can see that she is awesome and playing and gorgeous, but when i get out, she is just a bit different ITMS.

This is a novel, i know. first time i am kinda putting it out in words rather than just mumbling to myself about it all.

I honestly do not think that she has displayed any spectrum signs ITMS. this seems to me that she is really socially unconfident and unsure of herself. She is still rattled by the seizures when they do happen (they happen less frequently but she is beginning to protest against them much more).

I'm just unsure of what is going on and who to ask and even if there is anything that i can do....or is it just a waiting game for her to 'catch up' or gain some confidence?