Wow! It sounds like you have a LOT going on in your lives at the moment. Maybe you DD is picking up a little bit that you might be a bit stressed as well with all the visitors and your partner/hubby going overseas, that alone would be create stress as you have extra stuff to do around the house as well as for DD as her daddy's not there to help out. I found that my DD would be up for around the same amount of time before and after her 1 nap....mind you it took a while for me to realise that!! I think it does take a while with your first as you don't know what to expect. I found that she would be up for around 4-5 hours either side of her nap, so if she was up at 8 she'd go down around 1-2pm but then she'd only sleep for an hour or so if I was lucky! Then she'd be up for 4-5 hours after her nap before bedtime. All bubs are different and I think MG can be supportive but can also be a bit competitive with 'who's baby sleeps best' etc. Just do what feels right for your DD and by the sounds of it you already are cause your listening to her and giving her what she needs....in her bed or your bed if she's unsettled. I've been baby led by DD as well, and still co-sleep.....some may say 'who's the parent' but she's 2 now and we have a fantastic relationship bond that I couldn't have imagined and I put it down to listening to her and really letting her sort of lead me in a way if that makes sense?? Anyway trust your instincts and don't listen to negativity because at the end of the day in your heart and your gut you'll always know whats best