I feel terrible

[JordieC]

I don't knwo how to start - I feel awful. you do evereything you can to be a good parent and then something happens and you feel like the worst person on earth. My DH feels terrible too.

Mackenzie had an allergic reaction over a week ago - the docs weren't sure what it was and we were booked into see specialist in Dec. I thought it might be the oranges I had eaten beacause that was the only different thing. She had small tastes of custard and yogurt went near her lips. 2 days before the rash she had 2 sips of cows full cream milk.

Yesterday, a month after I orginally called the O'Connells parenting centre, a lady rang me asking if we still needed their assistance. I said I wasn't sure and then explained how Mackenzie doesn't eat solids and that's why we had rang - because health nurse suggested it.

Long story cut short - she was quite concerned about lack of solids and said because of the allergy and no eating she needed to see specialist and padeatrician immediately not in Dec. She gave me a heap of numbers to call - most at Royal Childrens. She said she would be missing vital nutrients and window of opportunity to learn chewing, eating etc. would be closing. She was also concerned because my brother who s 28 had strong history of not eating anything other than chips, bread, crackers plain food et.c no fruit, vegies, meat, pasta, rice. She said there may be a link.

I feel terrible because we thought she was going okay and she would eat in her own time - ABA and other professionals had been of the opinion that she would be okay and would learn eventually. She is a good weighht - over 9 kg and seems healthy. I am so confused - who do you trust - how do you know what is right?

To top it off this morning DH gave Mackenzie some sips of his banana smoothie - banana, REV milk and low fat icecream. Lots came out - she didn't drink much but still... anyway her rash has flared up again so now I am thinking it's dairy again. We're seeing docs in hour or so.

I feel bad that we didn't see professionals earlier. I feel bad that we gave her something that she could be allergic too but we were so excited that she was interested in having something, especially after the phone call yestreday which made me panic thinking we've stuffed up. I know you can't force feed a child and we have tried soooo many different things. I'm at a loss - sorry about the ramble.