control crying - anyone done it?

[1timemum]

Our DS is 5.5 months old and we're getting a lot of suggestions to control cry him as he should be sleeping better. So we reluctantly started this and on some occassions he can get himself to sleep within just 10 minutes of crying but at other times it can take at least 1/2 an hour. We do the technique of letting him be for 5 mins, going in to reassure him for 2 mins, let him cry for 10 mins, reassure him for 2 mins, etc. We then increase each time slot by a couple of minutes each day. Just wondering how long it takes them to be more consistent, ie. taking only about 5-10 mins to put themselves to sleep. I can't handle the crying too much and am not sure if we should keep going or abandon the whole thing.

[mrsmac]

Control crying isn't advised anymore and even if you want to do it you shouldn't do it before a baby is 6 months old.

[jacmeldav]

i dont think you'd class what i do as controlled crying - i put my son down, and most babies have a whinge/cry before they go to sleep. so i just let him whinge until i can tell he's getting himself worked up, and then i go in and pat him until he settles down, but not til he's asleep and then leave the room again. i usually only have to do this once or twice before he puts himself to sleep. so maybe stay with him until he's settled down (stopped crying) and then leave the room. i think they tend to get even more upset if you leave the room while their still crying.

[Snacks]

Is it possible to do it more like the above suggestion? Just thinking, if you can't handle the crying, and you're not entirely comfortable with it, you shouldn't feel pressured into doing it. I only say this because I am learning that people will always tell you what your baby "should" be doing, but you are the mummy and you can just follow your instincts You know what's best for your baby.
There are gentler ways to help a baby get to sleep.
Having said that, my baby cries, somtimes a fair bit before she goes to sleep. She's a lot younger, but even otherwise, I don't think I'd leave her alone to cry. But I let her cry, then comfort her and so on until she's asleep.
Hope you work something out that you are comfortable with.

[Visitor7]

My dr told me that I should do controlled crying because Nina wasn't sleeping very well.
She told me to let her whinge, or cry, for 1-3 minutes to begin with, go in and re-settle her without picking her up. Keep doing this for a max 30 min, then pick her up and offer a feed or cuddle.
After some time, start doing it for 3-5 minutes and do as above.

I personally couldn't do it. DH and I tried it, we lasted 30 seconds before going in and picking her up. I'm happy to feed/cuddle/rock until she has settled, or is asleep.
Are you doing this because you were told he should be sleeping better, or is it something you really want to do. Only do want YOU and DH want to do. I spoke with my MCHN last week who was outraged at the dr's comments and told me to do whatever I felt comfortable with, and that it's perfectly normal for a baby to not sleep through the night.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

[BellyBelly]

The Con of Controlled Crying
Australian Association of Infant Mental Health On Controlled Crying

HERE are lots of our baby articles, many on sleep.

[shellbell3]

I'm interested to know in what way he should be sleeping better? What are his sleeping habits at the moment and are they something you feel you can't deal with or are they just habits your GP thinks needs to change?
If you are coping okay with what you are presently doing than I wouldn't change but if it is something you are not coping with well then maybe look around and ask opinions of what has worked for different people and see what you would feel comfortable with doing.

[1timemum]

I personally don't think he's that bad a sleeper. It's just when I tell people that I may have been up 3-4 times on a particular night or his day sleeps may not have been that great I will be told "no he's a bad sleeper, his body clock's all wrong. That's not right, you need to teach him how to fall asleep on his own." What he does on a typical day is have 2-3 naps from 1/2 - 1.5 hours. He goes down at about 6pm after a bath and feed and will then wake 2-3 times a night but will go back to sleep fairly easily. What we have been doing yesterday and today (because i couldn't handle the poor little thing crying) was only letting him cry for 5 mins, going in to calm him down, letting him cry for another 5 mins, etc. We decided 5 minutes is more than enough and he's mostly been falling asleep after we go in after the first 5 minutes. Whether this is control crying or not doesn't bother me because it at least seems a bit more humane. Previously he was taking about 10-20 minutes of rocking to get to sleep so there has been some improvement in his sleeping but I often wonder at what cost emotionally to Lincoln.

[shellbell3]

Just do whatever you feel works for you and what you feel comfortable with. My DD will be 5 months next week and she only has 3x40min naps/ day and very hard to settle sometimes and also wakes 2-3 times night so she sounds quite similar to your DS. Just remember all babies are different and it is hard sometimes when other babies are sleeping thru and yours is waking often still but eventually things will change so as i said just do whatever makes you comfortable to do.

[Rouge]

A gf of mine told me the other day how she tried CC and the next day her daughter had no voice, she took her to the Dr and found that she had laryngitis from the constant crying. The doctor told her under no circumstances was she to do it again. And she hasn't and didn't on future children.

Each to their own of course, but if there is another method would you be interested in trying that first?

Goodluck!

*hugs*
Cailin

[~Jo~]

He sounds like he has a perfectly normal sleeping pattern to me. Please dont feel pressured by anyone to leave your baby to cry. They learn in their own time naturally.

Jo

[kmh]

I agree with jacmeldav, this worked with Madison as she was a bugger to get to sleep, and we only had to do this for about a week, and now she is a great sleeper.
With Charlotte she is great during the day will put her slef to sleep and will sleep twice a day for 1/12- 2 hours. She was in our room up till wednesday were we moved her into her own room, as she was up all the time over night for feeds, cuddles etc....., and the first night I had to rock her to sleep ( during the nights i have trouble settling her, so we rock to sleep) and she slept from 9:30pm to 3am then from 3am till 6am and then from 6am to 8:30, she did this for 2 nights and now she sleeps through the night from around 9pm till about 8am.

[ShootingStar]

We just go with the flow with Jesse. He's always been a great night sleeper and even during the day he's not too bad. Whenever he looks tired i put him to bed and he generally settles himself.. during the day if he's not at that stage by 11.30am i just put him to bed and he'll eventually fall asleep. We have a few distractions in there like music and a mobile with lights that always seem to aid in his self settling. Yesterday was the first day in months he just wouldnt and would just cry.. who knows what it was, maybe teething but today he's back to himself.
I know myself i hate hearing him cry and just couldnt do the control crying thing. I say do what works for you and not what people tell you is right, because not everything is "right" for everyone.
Best of luck

[sil]

I use the techniques in a book called 'Sleep Right, Sleep tight' by Rosey Cummings. I find it's takes on a more gentle way af teaching a baby to settle and sleeep by themsevles

[1timemum]

What we are doing, which I have to admit is working really well, is putting Lincoln down when we see the tired signs and only let him cry for 5 minutes before going in to soothe him by rubbing his head. The last couple have days it's worked perfectly and I only have to go in there once. It's also helped improve the length of time he sleeps for. He mostly sleeps for 1.5 - 2 hours now. At nighttime if he wakes I still feed him because he seems to settle back to sleep quite easily. Overall I have to say it's an improvement on how we used to have to settle him but now I'm just concerned about going out and how it will go if we're not at home for sleep time.

[christy]

Sounds like he is really responding to it. If you do go out maybe the first few times go out after he is asleep & then a few times have the person there while you are settling & take turns doing what you are doing. That way Lincoln will see someone else doing it as well & not be freaked out.