I agree with others that you do NOT have to let bubbas cry to teach them to self-settle. We have taught DS self-settling in a similar way to Jordie - by allowing him to grizzle, not cry. If he cries, we pat/shhhh/stroke his forehead until he is calm. Then we walk away & listen. We let him grizzle, then if he cries we immediately comfort. At first, it took quite a while to settle him. Now, he will usually put himself to sleep within 10 mins (often less).