I have to take Annika to a funeral this week. I am NOT going to leave her with a sitter, for a couple of reasons. First off, is I'm just not comfortable with leaving her, and secondly she is family and I believe it's important for her to be there. It will also be a very emotional time for my DH, and he will need me there for support. I was wondering if anybody had any tips on what to dress her in? I have no idea what a baby should wear to a funeral. TIA
Also, if anybody has any tips about funeral etiquette with a bubs, I'd be appreciative
I took Danielle to a funeral recently. I dressed her in a simple pink and blue dress. I don't think colours matter too much because not everyone wears black to funerals.
As far as etiquette goes, you'll probably just need to see how Annika copes with the day. Children can be so sensitive to what is happening, especially if her Dad is upset. Most people will be very understanding, but is she starts to fuss to much you may need to take her to the back of the room until she calms down. I also took a couple of toys to keep Danielle busy.
I took DS to a funeral last month, he wore fairly plain clothes - blue jogging bottom type trousers and a blue and grey striped long sleeved top. I was in black, but finding a black outfit for a child in just 2 days wasn't happening. (BTW, if I did it again I'd get some smart trousers and a shirt too, just all the local shops had sold out of these in his size.) A sober dress or skirt and blouse with a hat should be fine. Or befriend some goths with a baby, they may know where to get black baby clothes.
I timed DS's naps and got their early to ensure he slept through the service as I didn't want him to bother everyone. As it was, he was crying for 15 minutes before the service as he went to sleep then woke up for a few seconds during the reading - I made sure I was near to an exit so I could escape if I needed too, luckily DS just needed forcing back to sleep and he was OK after that. But I was prepared to leave the Church if I needed to, yes, supporting the family was important but them having a time to grieve without a screaming child is important too.
If Annika won't sleep and is at an age where she has a favourite (quietish) toy then take that.
When Erin was 3 months old my Nan died and I didn't even think twice about taking both her and Lindsay to the funeral. I had Erin dressed in a gorgeous pink dress that I know Nan would have loved seeing her in (the situation may be different for you obviously) but dress her in something nice, it really doesn't have to be 'funeral' clothes for kids these days if you can't find anything else kwim?
And I agree with Captain about the etiquette too, luckily Erin was asleep the whole time at the church and when she woke up at the cemetary we were outside so it was fine.
My sister took my nephew to our grandfathers funeral. I think she just dressed him in something comfortable.
When he got upset in the funeral she just paced with him and fed him. No one minded, he had as much right to be there as anyone else.
Tehya has already been to 2 funerals. The first one when she was 7 days old. Mum's best friend passed away the afternoon Tehya was born. I dressed Teh in a gorgeous little white dress.
Then when she was 10 months old Marks brother passed away suddenly, and while we didn't take Noah as I thought it would be too hard for him, I did take Teh, again I dressed her up in a pretty little dress.
Be prepared for a long and tiring day, you are going to need to be supportive to your husband and also be there for Annika. I was lucky I guess, I had family at both funerals so I could pass off Teh if it was really needed.
Matthew went to his grandfather`s funeral when he was 3 days old, I dressed him in simple nice clothes with a shawl.
My position was a bit different as I left hospital for the day to attend the funeral (I`d had a c/s), so I fed Matthew before I left hospital, then when I got to MIL`s place I fed him again so he just slept during the funeral, it was a very hard time but I`m so glad Matthew was there with us, it helped both Mark and I through the day and the grieving process of loosing Mark`s father so tragically just before Matthew was born.
I took Erin to a friends funeral when she was 4 weeks old, I timed it fairly well that she slept through most of the service. We were outside so it was fairly coolish so I just had her in a sleep suit and a blanket in her pram so she was nice and rugged up. Another suggestion may be if you have a rellie or a friend that could come with you so if Annika gets unsettled that they could walk with her or go outside if you need to.
I have been to many funerals where there were bubs there.
We had to take DD to a funeral recently. I dressed her as usual. We just made sure that if she began to cry we could easily move to the back to settle her so she didn't interrupt. Unfortunately for us, she began to cry as soon as the service started so DH and I ended up moving outside (they had a speaker), and I fed her then we played with some toys until the service was over. There were a number of small children at the funeral and no-one seemed bothered when they cried. Kristy's suggestion of having someone else there is a great one as children can pick up the vibe when their mum is upset and they can then become upset too. I think people tend to think of funerals as life celebrations nowadays so the thing of only wearing black has gone out. Sorry to hear about your loss and I hope the day isn't too hard for you all.
Sorry for your loss. Sammy has been to two funerals already. The first was for my nan so he absolutely had to be there and he was fine with the girls. While it was a sad time, we embraced that the whole extended family had to be together and we drew comfort from the children. Sammy wore good clothes, like to a restaurant. With the second, it was under quite difficult, tragic circumstances. Darren's cousin had been killed in a car accident. Sammy was dressed in smart/casual clothes, as requested by family. I did take him out though, so we missed most of the service because I was mindful of him making any noise.
Nessa - You're kids are gorgeous! Love your taste in names too
We took Annika this morning, and she was perfectly behaved the whole way through. I am shocked! I dressed her up a little bit, because DH is from an Italian family who are pretty traditional in some ways, in a light pink matching jacket, pants and shirt thingy, with roses on them. It was very pretty, and kept her nice and snug. Because DH had to carry the coffin, we had to be there earlier, and Annika fell asleep in my arms before the service started. She woke up about half way through, and I just gave her a non-noisy material book to munch on. When the service was over, she was all smiles. I'm very relieved to say the least. The actual funeral was beautiful, and a great tribute to DH's uncle. It's exactly as he would have liked it to be.
Sadly there seems like there are too many of us who have had to take our children to a funeral.
Blake went to my Dad'sfuneral when he was 4 months old. There was no way he was not going to his own grandfather's funeral - it was important to me for him to go and pay his 'respects' - as with all the grandchildren, and other kids present.
The thing I suggest you do is tee up a friend who can help look after Annika if you are needed to support your hubby. My best friend looked after Blake when I went up to read a eulogy.
Oh, I just noticed the funeral was this morning. I'm glad to hear it all went well - as well as expected for a funeral - and that Annika was perfect for you.
Chelsea came with me to a late family fiends funeral wen she was 4 months old...Wore a pretty pink dress. She started to cry has the service started so rocked her and was asleep within 5 mins. Just sat at the back.
Bringing bubba to funeral?
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