I explained to DD that mummy threw them away - she actually saw me throw them into the backyard in a fit of rage (I know - bad, bad mummy!). Then we said that the birds picked them up and flew away with them but if she was a good girl she will get a "surprise" tomorrow for being brave- which kind of settled her. I should have also explained that she was actually really good (considering) during the day yesterday coz she had her beloved cousins to play with for most of the day and in the evening we visited my cousin who had a newborn baby- and "no dummy". It was just that bad patch at night that was really bad. I'm at work at the moment though so I don't know how my mum is handling it - I'm scared to ring n check - guess we'll see how she goes this arvo and into the night.
You are right about being at the point of no return - there is no way I can re-introduce them - I have to bite the bullet - surely she can't be distressed forever?! The guilt however is killing me!
Oh I felt terrible guilt about getting rid of her dummy. I was in tears the first night because she was sobbing so much that it broke my heart. but in the end, she settled so well without it that I realised that it wasn't a need, it was habit. So I felt much better about it all. She's become a lot more outgoing and seems happier without it. She's so much chattier. It will improve and dummies will be all a distant memory. I think what you have told her is perfect and she will accept it and soon you won't have to talk about it at all. She will adjust. They all do. Be prepared that the tantrums may seem worse because you no longer have a dummy to rely on to settle them down. But really they are the same as they always were. It's good for them to learn a little self settling at this age anyway. Let us know how she went today
We recently got rid of DD's (beginning of Jan). She will be 3 at the end of Feb. I won't lie - the first week was hell. It took a lot of patience and creativity to adjust her sleeping and settling. We thought that after a week she'd be used to it... but she wasn't. Don't get me wrong, she was a LOT better... but she'd still ask for it when she was extremely upset and her sleeping went out the window (up to 2 hours to settle at night ). DD had been a dummy hider and would hide them all over the house for when she "needed" them. She found one at about the 2 week mark which seriously put us back (so I advise get them all out the house!!!!).
I was just about to give in and give her the dummies back (everyone kept telling me that she would give them up when she was ready) when she found one in her room, brought it out to me and said "Mummy, here, put this in the box. I don't need it - I'm a big girl!" I was so excited and proud of her! We haven't looked back since!!!! It took us close to a month.
Oh, one thing I noticed was that DD would tell me at night "Mummy, I just need something in my mouth" which proved to me it was habit. Once we broke the habit we were fine!
but keep in mind, every child is different and will respond differently. Your child may take very little time to adjust or may take a bit longer like mine.
Here is an update - so far so good! But the day and the week are still young!
I couldn't believe the transfomation in my DD yesterday - she is so calm n happy it is almost scary - now she happily plays n changes activities, she chats more and she only asked for it once when I got home - she took it well - I said "remember the birds took it" - she said "the red one?" - I said "yes, that one too - nevermind, let's go n play with the playdough" - and that was it.
I think it is almost a relief for her too coz now she knows it's gone she can't obsess about it all the time and keep wondering about how she can get it. We've had a massive reduction in whinging (that was the main thing she whinged about).
She settled so well without it last night- we read a story and then she cuddled teddy and rolled over n went to sleep. She woke up about 3 hours later and we put her in our bed (I am fine with this until she settles - at least sleeping with us wont worsen her open bite!).
I hope this lasts and is not the "calm before the storm". Will see how she goes today - day three of the dummy-free regime!
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). DD had been a dummy hider and would hide them all over the house for when she "needed" them. She found one at about the 2 week mark which seriously put us back (so I advise get them all out the house!!!!).
I was so excited and proud of her! We haven't looked back since!!!! It took us close to a month.
MG
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