DD so very unsettled....

[Barb Glare]

Hi, Ngala,

You said " I feel like I am not satisfying Avaleigh with my milk... Dont most babies have a feed and then go to sleep??!! "
Well, strangely, no! Though I'm sure that that is what we all believe when we happily concieve our first baby.
The first 6 weeks with a new baby are hell, really, even though we love them to bits. Many mothers notice that for the first 2 weeks their babies are really quite settled. We quietly think we've made it as a mum. Then reality (and exhaustion) set in. A baby is born expecting his or her mother to be his whole environment - food, shelter, comfort, all rolled into one. Human babies are designed to feed 8-12 times in 24hrs. But that won't be in even 2-3 hrly spaces. You will find that they will have one time of the day or night where they feed almost continually for a number of hours, and another time of the day or night where they will sleep a longer stretch. At this age, 3 hrs is about as good as it ever gets. By this stage your baby should be back over her birthweight, and you should be looking for a weightgain of between 150-250g per week (but at 3 weeks, there won't be much of a pattern to go on) Babies come out hard wired to suck - it's an important thing for a baby. So they tend to suck when they want to feed, but also suck when they are tired to soothe themselves. Usually at this age it is not necessary to worry too much about burping. Most mothers almost instinctively put babies up over their shoulders between "sides" to see if they burp, but many just don't burp, and they are fine.
When they are feeding they get a bust of a hormone called CCK. This makes them sleepy (you get a burst too, and it makes you feel sleepy) They get a peak in response to succkling, and often go to sleep on the breast. But as you have found, they often wake up then, and need a bit of a top up. This is normal. They get a second peak of CCK as their food digests - hopefully they will sleep for an hour or more. But as they go through normal cycles of heavier and lighter sleep they may startle and fully wake as they come out of a sleep cycle and they can't put themselves back to sleep, yet. They need the help of their parent - patting, rocking and generally reassuring them that they are OK and mum is near.
Parenting in the early days is a lot about watching your baby, and tryig to read their signs, and caring for yourself, as the workload is tough. It sounds a bit "twee" and old fashioned as we seek for the ultimate solution to get our babies to sleep - but sleep when your baby sleeps - keep her close so she hears your breathing and your heartbeat. she will usually settle much better like that. Carry her in a sling. When she goes through a lighter sleep cycle and wakes briefly, she will register that she is with mum, and will be rocked by your movement as you go about the things you need to do, and she'll go back to sleep. Call on your support networks. Do you have friends or relatives who will be happy to drop you in a meal? Get your partner to help out with the rocking, comforting and burping. Make sure you eat well, not because your milk will suffer if you don't, but because you will feel much better if you are eating well.
Hope some of that helps. Let us know how you are going. You have lots of people hear who care about you for a start
Warm Regards
Barb

[Janie]

I think Barb has given you great advice (as per usual!)

I agree with Caro. I think reflux is very 'in' ATM, and is probably a bit overdiagnosed. A bit of wind pain however can sometimes be overlooked. That's not to say that every time she cries it's because she has wind Nicholas has a little bit of silent reflux. I don't get too bothered about it as it doesn't give him grief very often, but at times you can hear the acid coming up and down and he arches his back and screams. Sometimes you can hear the vomit coming up and down for ages, and it doesn't bother him at all. He also does small vomits after every feed, but I think this is normal.

The biggest thing that I find helps us sleep well at night is to keep him up on my shoulder for 30 minutes after his late night feed. He is usually asleep during, or straight after that feed, but I still burp him (or try to) and then keep him upright. We have had a lot less problems at night since I started doing this. I also keep him upright for awhile if he feeds during the night (which he doesn't do that much anymore). I also give him Gaviscon with his last feed, but that's to stop him choking in the night.

It's very hard with a new baby, you haven't yet worked out every little cry, and what it means. It does get better hun. And you know what, sometimes babies just cry. The might feel tired, or lonely, or who knows what, but apart from cuddle them, there's not much you can do. As long as she's fed, dry, and being cuddled, she will be fine. Everyone else around you will want to give you a reason as to why she's crying and explain what's wrong with her.........but you know best, you are her mummy!

Oh, and I'm with the others......elevate her when she's sleeping. About the height of the yellow pages should be alright! It's definitely helped us here.

[Ngala]

When everyone says 'elevate' while sleeping, do you mean to just make sure the head bit of the mattress is elevated or have the whole mattress elevated.... that doesnt really make sense but I hope someone understands!!

DD sleeps in a bassinette so I have put towels underneath to elevate it, I have made sure it goes up at the same angle (hopefully that makes sense!) Is this OK?

[Trillian]

Veronica, just put the head end up so she is on an incline with her head hgher than the rest of her kwim? usually just a towel under one end of the matress or even a phone book under the stand is enough.

[mbear]

Ngala - yep, sounds like youve done the right thing with the bassinette matress...

BTW, my DD#2 used to ALWAYS projectile vomit after some b/f feeds. It would be quite frightening seeing this little thing explode white substance out her mouth. It happened regularly in the first few weeks....looking back now, and reading Barbs advice, i think i was over feeding her. She had too much in that little tummy of hers and was just making her unsettled.

but also suck when they are tired to soothe themselves.

...this is what sophie wanted - she wanted to suck, but not have milk KWIM? SHe didnt take a dummy....but i guess we got over it, coz after a while, when my milk settled, so did she - and no more projectiles....!!