It sounds so much like my first DS and I know how hard it can be We definitely had to stop offering an alternative and it was amazing how quickly he learnt to eat the first thing offered. However, as the others have said, he has never, even at 5 now, been as big an eater at dinner as at lunch and breakfast. I am not sure it's because he's tired, or just that he uses more energy during the day so fuels up earlier to meet that need. But whatever it is, dinner is and always has been his smallest meal of the day, or close to it. For quite a while we'd do the dinner for lunch thing. It's not so easy now he's at school but he eats enough at dinner now that I know he's getting a good variety and quantity of meat, veg etc. I am sure that not offering her an alternative will help you, but don't worry too much if a big dinner is still not really her thing just yet.