DD's eating habits have me at my wits end

[MantaRay]

It sounds so much like my first DS and I know how hard it can be We definitely had to stop offering an alternative and it was amazing how quickly he learnt to eat the first thing offered. However, as the others have said, he has never, even at 5 now, been as big an eater at dinner as at lunch and breakfast. I am not sure it's because he's tired, or just that he uses more energy during the day so fuels up earlier to meet that need. But whatever it is, dinner is and always has been his smallest meal of the day, or close to it. For quite a while we'd do the dinner for lunch thing. It's not so easy now he's at school but he eats enough at dinner now that I know he's getting a good variety and quantity of meat, veg etc. I am sure that not offering her an alternative will help you, but don't worry too much if a big dinner is still not really her thing just yet.

[Daydream Believer]

With DD we had to stop all snacks after 330pm (to eat dinner at 530-6). We give her what we are having if she doesnt eat it then she gets nothing else except for her dinner, if she still refuses to eat then she gets nothing else until breakfast. The only exception is when we have new foods or a food she hasnt previously liked before and as long as she tries it Im happy for her to have a sandwich, fruit or yoghurt. We very rarely have any issues with eating anymore

[Erin_25]

I'm just throwing this out there and it's just IMO.....but does it really matter?

What is the problem, that she will not eat or just not eat dinner? If they are getting enough variety during the day then I fail to really see the problem...

I understand the whole teaching them it's dinner time etc, but I don't see the point in fighting it. I'm not a fan of all the baby books that tell us we have to do this and have to do that getting us all worried about one persons opinion that worked for them, but I did get advice once and that was "pick your fights"....if it's not worth the fight then why not leave it.

Don't get me wrong, we turn off the telly, set the table with our placemats and DS1 special placemat and his special cup. We always serve up a plate of what we are eating and we let him know it's dinner time. 9 out of 10 times he will not eat it, but he gets the point that we all sit down to eat dinner. He doesn't always sit at the table either but he knows we will not play etc until dinner is finished. It saves the stress & there are no fights....I cook a nice meal I like to enjoy it also without out all the fights and stress just before bed time. He is a day eater, from breakfast on he will just eat and he has a good variety and diet, so I just go with that. I know he's eaten enough, he hasn't had junk and if he wants something at dinner that's not what we are having then he gets a choice of something easy like an apple or a bannana. (so I don't have to cook another meal). I understand the "if you don't eat it then go to bed without" approach but hey I know what it's like to be hungry and try to sleep, or just not feel like something. Nothing worse than hunger pains early in the morning.

I'm yet to meet someone who only eats apples at dinner because that's all they had at age 3......but like I said, it's just my opinion. I think if you just set the example and don't worry yourself over it, lots of kids that age don't eat certain things, or dinner etc. It will all change again. I also rather not make dinner time a battle as to me it will set a negative example on dinner time.

[beansbeans!]

Thanks Erin;

It is starting to matter. This has been going on for months. She just doesnt try anything anymore. I hate the fact that I am taking fruit away from her, but I am tired of serving a meal, that she doesnt even look at most of the time before she says yuck. But it does matter, I hate that I spend ages in the kitchen preparing something for the 3 of us to have. I hate that after spending the time to cook it, I spend the rest of dinnertime peeling mandarins, bananas and what not. I dont like that her sister sits there and watches her get something else without even trying it... She may be little but she is stilll learning.
I love that she is a great eater the rest of the day, well most of the time. I love that she has a great palate. What I am tired of and what is getting to me, is that no matter what I give her she just wont eat it! The other night I even gave her what she normally opts for instead (mandarins, apple, banana, yoghurt, and strwberries) of making a meal that she wouldnt eat, I served it to her, and she tells me yuck, not having it! Its that attitude I want to change, I admit that right now she has it all over me, and Im paying for it. But I want that to change, I want her to at least try what i give her before she tells me she doesnt like it.

Tonight Im making sausages cooked in a tomato sauce on cous cous. She loves sausages in tomato any other time Ive given them to her. Cous cous isnt a favourite, but its mine. Miss H loves it all. so Im hoping Miss M will eat it and enjoy, or at least try it would be good. And tonight there wont be any other alternatives; well unless she trys it out, seriously. Then I might be able to find something else if she is seriously hungry.

[beansbeans!]

OK so an update;

Tonight, I sat Miss M down, explained that dinner was the only choice for the night. I told her what it was. Went into the kitchen brought it back and gave it to her.

Well to m surprise, she ate the entire lot, then went back for seconds and thirds!! Totallly unexpected, but Im not complaining!

Now Im just hoping that this will continue in the days and weeks to come!

Thank you

Justine

[onthefly]

she really has you on your toes!
But that's good news