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Thread: Dealing with guilt after baby fall....

  1. #1

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    Default Dealing with guilt after baby fall....

    I'm hoping that this is a common occurance becuase I feel like the worlds worst mother!!!

    Luke fell off the couch this morning and I feel so incredibly guilty. I'm sure he's ok as he didn't cry for long, I think he was shocked more than anything. The couch is pretty low to the floor, however we have floor boards, so it wasn't a soft fall by any means. I just feel completely responsible for it - I should never have left him on the couch. He's just so much happier sitting up on the couch than on the floor and I only turned my back for a moment. He's usually so good and doesn't move around much at all but I guess that stage is now over and I have to be a lot more careful. How stupid of me. Worst of all, I called my husband who made me feel even worse and for the first time in six and a half months, I'm really wondering if I am a good mother!



    How do I get over the guilt of it and how do I know that Luke is ok - I'm so worried that I've now done something to hurt him. He's sound asleep, so I guess there couldn't be too much bothering him.

    Anyway, thanks for listening, I just had to get this off my chest.

    Kelly xxx

  2. #2

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    OH Kelly, don't worry, I think this happens to everyone at some point. I know a couple of girls in our group have had baby accidents and have felt awful. Just yesterday I put Angus down to sleep in the morning in his cot and went out to do some gardening. came in 15 mins later to howling, he'd rolled onto his front but managed to put one arm down the side of the mattress and couldn't get it up. I felt awful for just gardening away and not hearing him. But we were both better after a nice long cuddle and an apology.

  3. #3

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    *hugs* Kelly, I haven't experienced this yet, but I have watched in slo-mo as he wacked his head on a table. I think babies are made really flexible for a reason, but having said that, if you're concerned, see a doc. Poor Pip, when he hit his head, I wouldn't let him sleep and kept checking his pupils were reacting the same! When something like this happens, the important thing is you learn from it - so you won't be putting him on the sofa again, or if you do, there'll be a big comfy pillow surrounding it!

    It's so hard just now, the little tykes are becomming so mobile so quickly, and I find I don't adjust as quickly as he does.

    So cuddle him, demand roses from your DH and know that you're doing a perfectly normal, wonderful mothering role.

  4. #4

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    Awwww Kelly - I'm sure he will be fine and you are by no means the first or worst mother. My sisters DD fell off the change table and thats really high up and the other DD fell off the bed onto her head(They are 15 and 12 now and fine! Accidents happen hun and all you can do is what you are doing which is giving Luke a loving and safe environment. Even if you had watched him the whole time- other accidents can happen all the time and I guess its something that as they get more mobile we have to get used to. You are doing an absolutely wonderful job with Luke hun, and just the fact that you are worried and care so much shows how great a mum you are. :hugs: to you both.

  5. #5

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    My DS fell down the stairs at 8 months when i turned my back on him for a minute (or less even, and he was nowhere near the stairs). He has also fallen off the bed a few times, and now as an almost 2 year old is constantly covered in bruises as he manages to climb and bang into everything!

    It took me a long time to get over the guilt (of the stair incident), but accidents happen, most of the time they ar 100% ok, and kids hurt themselves all the time (i know i did as a child, and most of the time i forgot about it after 5 mins).

    You are a great mummy, and the fact that you care shows this!

  6. #6

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    Hi Kelly
    Don't beat youself up about this, you are not the worse mum in the world. Just kep an eye on him over the next hour or so and if he is his normal self ou have nothing o worry about.
    You are not the first mum this ha happened to and you will not be the last.

  7. #7

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    Kelly - my little man rolled off the lounge at 2 months, landing on the carpet face down in the foetal position. I was a mess - more so because he shouldn't have been able to roll at that stage!!!!! It was only a half turn but enough to tip him over the edge. He was fine but it took me a long time to get over the horror of having let him fall. You are not a bad mummy - and this is (unfortunately) just the first of many falls, bumps and bruises Big hugs

  8. #8

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    Kelly you're a great mum. Like the others have said, I'm sure we're all in for a lot of falls, bumps and bruises. Our little ones are all moving so quickly now and unless you are right there next to them 100% of the time these things are going to happen - and none of us can be there 100% of the time. Keep an eye on him while he's having his nap though and if he sleeps lots longer than normal maybe just take him to the GP to get him checked out. I'm sure he's absolutely fine though - probably just gave him a scare (about 1% of the scare he gave his mummy probably!!)

  9. #9

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    My DS rolled off the bed when he was six months old. He's also fallen off the couch since learning to climb up there by himself....half the time I only know he's been up there when I hear the bang as he hits the floor!

    Don't be hard on yourself I guarantee you this happens to everyone, at least once (and some of us many more times than that...probably those of us with boys! )

  10. #10

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    Big hugs Kelly. I do know how it feels. Now that my boys are nearly 3 and 14months I am very used to accidents and them being covered in bruises. But the first time was AWFUL. I was having lunch at a cafe with friends and Jack was sitting on my lap. Suddenly he lurched forward and hit his head on the edge of the table. He sobbed and sobbed so of course I sobbed and sobbed and thought I was the worst mother in the world. When I got home my MIL was there and I thought I'd be told off for being so careless, but she just said "well, the first of many". How right she was!! It does get easier hun. Accidents will happen and mostly they will be fine afterwards. And so will you!!

  11. #11

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    Kelly you are ab amzing mum to Luke. Like the ladies & Alan have said you are far from the first mum to do this. I'm up to three accidents with Livvy. She's just to wormy and slippery. LOL!!! The guilt is horrible but just remember it was`an accident and they happen. Sending heaps of hugs.

  12. #12

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    Thank you all sooo much!! Luke seems to be fine, although after the fall, he did have a good morning sleep, which freaked me out but when he woke, he was definitely his normal, happy self and has been ever since!! Thank god.

    I'm feeling much better now too, although I still am really angry with myself for leaving him on the couch - why didn't I just put him on the floor?? All well and good to say that now though and at least I've learnt my lesson (and thankfully it wasn't as bad as it could of been).

    I just feel terrible, the poor little man!!

    Anyway, thanks again, you've all made me feel so much better!!

    Kelly xxx

  13. #13

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    Awwww love!!! Completely understand how you felt and completely agree with all the other girls that you are simply a fab mummy and these things will happen...............he still has a whole lot of growing to do

    Our little ones certainly keep us on our toes don't they?!?!?

    I have a 3yr old and 5&1/2 month old.........................when I think I've covered all the basis, they go and prove loop holes in my careful planning particularly my 3yr old..............I swear she thinks she really is a monkey and is invincible so will attempt any feat! I need eyes in the back of my head with that one! And what worries me is she is going to lead the other little one astray!! "Its not that high really!! Just jump!!" (DH did this to his little sister when they were young!! Sheesh!!)

    Great to hear your little one is doing fab now. I know its tricky but try not to be hard on yourself, you just love your little man so much which makes you a wonderful mummy!! xx

  14. #14
    paradise lost Guest

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    You're a great mummy hun!

    DD is perpetually covered in bruises - half the time i don't even know where she got them as she DOESN'T cry unless it's really sore! Kids are very resilient and learn a lot from experiences like this. Caution grows with age - i bet all of us can think of things that we did without thinking when we were kids which scare the heck out of us now (like i used to ride semi-wild horses with just a rope around their NECKs, or swim in a fast-flowing river when no-one knew where i was or when i'd be back so if i'd drowned no-one would be any the wiser, and once (this STILL gives me nightmares) i rode a horse along a cliffside path (ON the side of the cliff) about 50 feet above a rocky river bed which was JUST wide enough for the horse, and NOT wide enough for my legs. I couldn't get off, i had to hook the cliff-side leg against the mare's neck so it wasn't dragging on the cliff, there was no way she could turn or change direction and i didn't know if the path would get wider or just plain STOP! IDIOT!). We are more cautious after these experiences in adulthood. Imagine your DS was so protected his whole childhood he never hurt himself, the first time he bumped his head as an adult he'd freak out and never leave the house again!

    What is it they say, it's not about never falling, but rising every time we fall.

    hun, you're a great mumma. Know it!

    Bx
    Last edited by paradise lost; March 28th, 2008 at 07:11 AM.

  15. #15

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    Hi Kelly!
    Big Hugs

    Just wondering how you are feeling?

    THis happened to me on saturday.
    DD was asleep swaddled in her muslin wrap in the couch and then i heard a scream from the other end of the house. I recognised it as her ive hurt myself scream.

    So i went running - to the lounge and she has woken and rolled off the couch (2 feet down) face first on the tiles. She had a huge red mark on her forehead from where it had obviously rebounded off the floor!

    To make it worse i had my xmas party that night and i am a health care worker and had to be inthe presence of dr's, nurses and otherwise with an allmost 6 month old with a googgy egg in the centre of her forehead!!!

    But they all hardly blinked an eye and all said "oh it will be the first of many"... thats it... that was all they said...

    I did feel bad and it is a wake up call that i put her in her cot to sleep now! especially that they are at that age when they are more active!

    I hope you feel better - and trust me it does happen to everyone in one way or another! if it isnt off the couch , its the change table or climbed out of the cot or the pram...

    ANd if your DH makes you feel bad it is probably because it has happened under his supervision and he didnt tell you!!! and now he is stressed too lol....

    Big hugs and you are a WONDERFUL mother to be concerned.!!!!

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