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Thread: dh and ds settling help

  1. #1

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    Question dh and ds settling help

    does anyone have any ideas / tips on how to get my 10mth old ds to settle for my dh ? He just will not settle for dh. Its horrible. Tonight, he woke (after he was asleep in bed). I sent dh to go and settle him (im returning to work 3 nights a week- so he needs a routine with dad), and it didnt work for either of them. I went in about 5 mins later. Ds instantly quietened the moment i walked in. I picked him up, his eyes shut, he breathed a deep breath and about 1min later he was asleep again.
    I dont want to be going to work and coming home to an over tired baby, who atm is waking every 2hrs at night, and a dh who got cranky.
    Any suggestions?


  2. #2

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    might just be a case of time ....... will take time for your little man to adjust to a new routine with his daddy but he will get it! maybe any chance your DH gets, get him to settle your DS and initially it might seem painful but don't go in! Leave it to your DH otherwise your little one will learn that eventually mummy does come in anyway. So make yourself a cup of tea and heap loads of encouragement on your DH as he will need the support too as it may be just as taxing for him! Persistence will pay off (both my girls have gone through the same thing so I understand! It does get better! )

    hth lovey and good luck!!

  3. #3

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    Thank you for your reply!

    I haven't actually started back at work yet, but went to a meeting a this monday and last monday, and there were no problems (or tears)!! Dh says that its just coz I'm there, that he knows that he can play up to me... Lil monkey!!

  4. #4

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    Hey hun,
    You said you left it 5 minutes? Maybe give them a chance, like half an hour at least. Try the usual, rocking, a mobile for distraction, lights dim, some cuddles, perhaps sitting on the floor, bed, couch whatever and just having some one on one time. Get DH to go through all of these until he finds one that works, or he is exhausted. The main thing is, what YOU do and what works for him will be different, and YOU will have it down pat because you do it all the time. DH needs to find his own way and then DS will be fine, he just needs some time and a chance to work out what is best for him.

    It is hard at night, noises seem louder, and time seems 3 times as long, particularly cos your tired, and tolerance levels are at an all time low. I know myself I just feed DS to sleep cos its the easiest way.

    It will have to work eventually, so maybe just give it some time?

  5. #5

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    I agree... It can take a little while for your little man to adjust to his new routine but just keep it up and he should be fine in no time!
    My DS still prefers Daddy to put him to bed now! I go in to say goodnight but it is Daddy that does the pj's and story because it has been their routine for so long now! I think he was about your DS's age when we started this, before that he would only settle for me too..

    Good luck!

  6. #6

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    ah yes! monkey indeed! Have one of my own too she can be as right as rain with DH but if she happens to hear me sneaking, off she goes! I creep in socks So glad to hear that your little one settled Fantastic!!

  7. #7

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    Hi,

    We had a similar problem with DD only allowing me to put her down for a nap or settle her during the night, so a while ago and started a 3 night process:

    Night 1: Both DP and I go in everytime she wakes or needs a nap, but only I have any contact with DD. Do the normal settling stuff and we both leave.

    Night 2: Both DP and I go in. DP starts to do the settling while I'm in the room. DD can see me and reaches out but DP continues the settling process (sometimes for up to 20 mins). After the second go, it works!

    Night 3: The plan was for only DP to go in and me stay well away....but we didn't get this far!


    Now she settles for both of us and either of us can put her down for a sleep. A huge relief!


    It may not work for you but might be worth trying.

    HTH.

    Amy.

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