We have the same battle here - although with the 3.5 year old. We all eat at the same time, and all eat the same thing. He isn't allowed a drink until half way through his meal. If he doesn't want to use his cutlery, well I just let him use his hands... cause at least it's eating something. I've just figured out that he loves his garlic bread too.... so I bribe... eat "x" amount of vegies, "x" amount of meat and you can have a piece.... then we do it over again... and some nights he eats half, other's he eats it all.

I've also seen dinner time rewards charts done... I don't know if your little one is old enough for that though (sorry didn't see how old they are)... but that could also be another idea!