AFter starting the VERY interesting debate on smacking and restraint I was thinking it might be worthiwhile getting some great ideas of others on how to discipline? My DD is a bit young for some of the ideas I'm sure but as she gets older I want to teach her the best way I can.
Of of my friends who has a 7 and 9 year old uses "the mark" system where when they have done the wrong thing after a warning or two they have to find their mark and stay there for as many minutes as they are old eg. 7 year old has to stand there for 7 minutes. Afterwards she discusses the beahviour with the child.
I love this because they are not being "sent" away to their room or another area, they are still within the space that the mum and other kids are so they can still see what's going on but can't participate. IT's safe as well as a reminder that if they continue their bad behaviour they will miss out on the fun. The mark is usally some marking on the tiles/floor or on the wall.
I like this idea - what others do you have, especially for much younger kids who wouldn't cope with that yet.
we had a reward chart for a while it worked but then he got bored of it.
so we rewarded him every time eh did something good. we focused on teh positives, thsi was suggested by a child psychologist.
now we do the taking away of privilages, it takes longer to sink in but he got the idea after hsi x box was taken away and it was raining all day and he thought teh world was going to end because of no x box. that worked but now it doesnt he is over that one,
when eh gets back from his mothers we are going to try the mark or naughty chair thing. we haev been using itb on and off for a while and but neevr focused on it now we will as it was teh one thing we saw continual positives from.
so we make him sit on a chair in teh kitchen and he isnt allowed to do anything or say anything adn then is made to tell us what eh did wrong to be put there and why it was naughty or rude and then to appologise and then its hugs and praise from then on.
i find he responds well to praiose, but hates boundaries so we constantly remind him why eh has them, eg to keep him safe teach him right from wrong etc.
This age is so hard isn't it!!! I'm kinda in the same boat. I don't believe in smacking, so that's not an option for us. I've been using a "time-out" method with DS that seems to do the trick. If he's misbehaving and continues the behaviour after I ask him to stop, I'll say "Do you want to go have time out?" and he always says "No", of course. I only make him have time out for 1 minute, but it seems to break the cycle of bad behaviour. We always say "sorry" to each other, him for his behaviour and me for putting him in time out and have a big cuddle and squeeze and make friends again.
I was putting him in his cot as this was the only safe place for him, but that backfired a few weeks ago when he started not wanting to sleep in there. Dumb idea now when I think back. So, now I put him on the front couch and walk away.
Good luck and I hope you find something that works for the both of you.
time out works well here , as does foucousing on his good behaviour .. the best trick for me is to use planned ignoring .. it was used through out the PPP program and works a treatt for DS ..
I also removed anthing "nuaghty" or that he couldnt touch so he doenst have to get in trouble for touching/doing the wrong thing ..
explantion is a winner too .. if DS is acting up , i give him a warning and tell him if he continues his behavior he will go to time out in front of everyone (usually in shopping centre) i then ask him if he wants everyone to see him in the time out corner .. naturally his anser is NO and his behaivor vastly improves .. and i get a coffee in !!
I almost forgot. We also used a distraction technique when DS was younger. If he was doing something a little undesirable, we'd focus his attention on something else and not make a big deal about it and he'd forget about whatever he was doing that wasn't so desirable. He was too young for time out. We still do it a little now, although he's far more capable of understanding that there are consequences to his actions.
Discipline ideas
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