It sounds like your DH doesn't want to TTC ATM so perhaps you should ask him why that is. I mean the real reason. The reasons you have mentioned above sound like excuses not reasons IYKWIM.
I don't think it's harsh to want to keep moving on with your life. Your life doesn't end just because a loved one's has. There will always be reasons to wait, families will always disagree and fight, money will always be tight (unless you win the lotto lol!), there will never be enough room. It sounds like your DH has a deeper issue.
As for your concerns about having two - well I often wonder the same thing myself. When my DS is having a cranky day, I think what have I got myself in for? But then I remember that many women have done it before me, I will cope just like they did.
I'd say if you're doubting it, then don't. The moment will come when it seems absolutely definately 100% right. And the moment will be golden. Just sit tight, love.
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