Do you go out at night?

[Plinky]

Hello everyone!

I have a pretty general question, more out of curiosity than anything... For those who have young babies, do you ever go out with your partner/DH at night ie: movies, dinner, parties, etc?

At the moment I'm still not comfortable with going out at nights, esp since DS is in a good routine. But I can't help feel that others (read: ppl without babies!) think its unnecessary and that I can't just not-go-out because I have a baby.

Just wondered what everyone else does? I think we've been out once since DS has been in a routine, and that was after he had gone to bed so I knew I could relax.

Am I on my own here?

[turtleschell]

DD is 3.5months and we don't go out. She goes to bed at 7ish and that's it. Also, coz she does NOT sleep in car seat or pram. I know, heaps of non parents think it's silly that we let our babies determine our lifestyle, they just have no idea. Wait till they have a baby!
DD can handle being out though, but I always feel I'd rather she have her undisturbed, comfortable sleep at the time she desires.

[OceanPrincess]

I think it is completely up to you and people shouldn't judge you for your choices!

Having said that, I know they will!

I found with DD, when she was very little we could take her with us to most things, then as she got older we started declining invites to "go out" places but if it was at someone's house, we could chuck her in the portacot. Recently however she has become more aware of the world around her and she won't sleep in her portacot except for at my parents' or IL's house (where she is comfortable).

So now we don't bring her with us, we find a babysitter - and only go once she is asleep, as she still has a BF before going to sleep and I can't be bothered expressing - takes me four or five "expressions" (lol) before getting enough for one feed!

We are fortunate that we have two sets of grandparents close by who are happy and willing to babysit for us! Otherwise we'd be hermits - it is far too disruptive to DD to be carting her around with us at her age.

But gee it is a PITA sometimes - we went to see Cats last weekend, then had a wedding this weekend just gone and next Sat (Easter Sat) we have a 30th, so we need to get her looked after AGAIN. Its getting ridiculous and I feel like I need some nice quiet time at home!!

I reckon that sometimes my friends without babies get a bit frustrated by us - we are the first to have a bubs out of my friends so no one really understands. I just keep telling myself that one day they will catch up and then they'll know where we are coming from!!!

[Nelle]

We do, and did when our kids were young, but we had family who lived close by, and were happy to be called when I started a feed, head over so we could leave as soon as the feed was finished and have a few hours out. We'd usually leave a bottle of expressed milk, and the sitter would call if bub wouldn't take it or wouldn't settle.

We didn't go to see movies, but dinners, coffees and shopping we'd do. Anything we could abandon if things got tricky for the sitter.

Anyway - your bub is only 4 months old, so you have to do what works for you! We made a point of trying to get out, even when bub was weeks old (just for a coffee for 30mins right after a feed at a nearby cafe), because for us, our 'us time' is pretty important to our relationship.

I don't think it's something you need to do just because others think you're a bit strange, or because they expect it of you - you do what works for you! But if you do think you need it, there are ways to make it work. xo

[LimeSlice]

Charlotte was about 6 months when we went out for the first time at night and left her with "nanna"
She cried for ages and so we had to go straight home after the movie lol Poor Charlotte was beside herself.
I didnt leave her agian until she was about 8 months old with someone other than DH. She was perfectly fine.

My biggest obstacle to leaving her at night was the fact she was fully breastfed and refused to take a bottle - EBM or formula.

Best of luck! Bugger everyone else - you leave him when and if you feel comfortable and he seems ready

[Olive]

we generally dont go out as our girls are in bed by about 6.30! boy has life changed

[didispunk]

I have to say we go out nearly every second night, either to friend for coffee, or for ice cream or take the kids to the park for a quick play before bed etc.

The kids have adapted to this very well, We personally wanted the kids to be able to be at friends till 11pm if we were having a good time etc..
We do make them work around us, from day one and it has worked.

[Baby14]

Our DS is 4 and a half months old and I am not ready to leave him with anyone just yet.

We go to a friends place for dinner sometimes but they have kids so they are ok that we get there a bit early so that I can feed him and get him to sleep at the same time as I would at home, he sleeps quite happily on a kids foldout lounge in the room we are in and then just before his last feed for the night we go home. They only live 5mins away so we get him home, feed him and straight into bed. That seems to work for us at the moment.

Most other invites at the moment we decline though. I am over worrying what other people think...they don't have to try to calm a screaming baby who is overtired/overstimulated!

[OceanPrincess]

... I am over worrying what other people think...they don't have to try to calm a screaming baby who is overtired/overstimulated!

Hear hear!

[~Hestia~]

Haven't been out at night since before DS was born
I would take him out to dinner with us but these days DS likes to bed tucked up in bed by 6pm & I don't really want to mess with that.

[Visitor7]

We do. We have plenty of family here, and dh and I take advantage of that and go out for dinner, coffee, shopping etc. It works for us, but I understand that it's not for everyone.

[Poppetty]

Not really. DD was 14 or so months when she was first baby sat when we went to a wedding. Over Christmas we stayed with the grandparents and did go out a few times, she was 18 months.

I think if we had family nearby we would likely go out more, but alas we have no family in this state

[Lady-bug]

We go out probably 3 nights a week (out to dinner, a walk, friends place etc) but DS is 17 months and generally doesn't go to bed until about 9pm even if we are home so he is happy to be out and about. Although there is no way we were going out when he was little, I think its just too hard with settling in a different place etc.
Just do whatever you feel comfortable with, your baby, your rules!

[krysalyss]

Your DS is still so young. Our DS is now almost 3 and we are living with my parents at the moment so I know that it is fine to go out once he is asleep as they usually stay home at nights and DS doesn't usually wake up anymore. It gets easier once they get older and have less frequent wake ups.

[Mak]

Nope - and my girls are much bigger! TBH we still have very little sleep and it really does seem like too much effort when you are up 3+ times a night and then the day starts at 5am! Pathetic but that is how it is here - we do try to have date night at home to try and spend some quality time together. Bedtime is often 9pm tho, lol..... I am sure it won't last forever!

[Plinky]

Wow, thanks for all your replies! I'm glad I'm not alone then

Its just my dad and his g/f have invited us for Easter Sunday dinner...and I have told them before that we don't go out at nights, but are happy to have something at our house instead. I think my dad is very much of the opinion that we're making a rod for our own back by letting DS routine affect our lives so much. I just couldn't imagine carting my poor darling the 40 min drive to his house, then not get home till well past his bedtime, what about his bath? where will he sleep there? (if he sleeps at all there) if we wake him to take him home, will he settle as normal into bed once we get home? will he get upset and cranky and tired at my dads?

I just get annoyed that they don't seem to take my wishes seriously, and think I'm being too controlling. Ah well...they said they'd "have a talk" about maybe doing a lunch instead. Don't like my chances tho! We'll see...

[skybie]

we havent been out alone as a couple since DD2 was born. but once a week i go to my BF's house for coffee, usually leave at 730 once the girls are in bed and sometimes dont get home till 1230-1am! hehehe
her house is literally a 2 minute drive so on the odd occaion DD2 wakes up im just around the corner and quickly get home to give her a feed

[*TripleJ*]

i left DS with my mum when he was 2 weeks old to go out drinking i feel a little bad about it now looking back but i wasnt BFing but it was my friends DEB ball

but anyway i hardly get to leave him anymore so i enjoy it when i can but whenever we visit my mum she watches him so we get a night out then