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Thread: Does this make me a bad mum?

  1. #1

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    Default Does this make me a bad mum?

    Or is it quite normal?

    On Monday morning, Emy was very clingy, and would not be happy when we put her down. It didn't matter if I put her down just at my feet, and then stayed there to brush my hair or teeth or whatever, if she had to be down, then she was cranky. The only times that she was happy was when she was being held, and that just was not possible on Monday, coz I needed to get ready to go to work at 12, and DH had to mow the grass and tidy the house because the stupid real estate agents were going to bring the owners through the house in the afternoon, and only told us in the morning. And then they didn't even show up! So rude - I really hate real estate agents, and can't wait until we buy our own house, and don't have to deal with them anymore - but that is off the track!



    Anyway, so Emy just whinged at me all morning, and I couldn't pick her up all the time, coz then I would never have been able to get ready to leave to get to work. And her whinging just got to me, and I asked DH if it was bad that I couldn't wait to leave to go to work. He just gave me a hug, and then told me to finish getting ready, and to leave, and he would deal with Emy.

    I asked my mum, and she said "welcome to motherhood, you'll have many more days like that!", but I still feel bad.

    I can handle a bit of whinging, when you pick them up and they calm down and then are quite happy to play again while you do other things, but on Monday, it was non-stop. I realise that she is in pain from teething, but she was fine on Sunday, and yesterday morning, and fine so far today, so I don't think it was entirely that...

    So anyway, does my getting annoyed with her, and wanting a break from the whinging make me a bad mum?

  2. #2

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    No it doesn't make you a bad mum. All mums need a break from time to time and it's normal to get a bit annoyed at times. When she gets bigger and starts misbehaving bigtime in public you will probably even get really angry with her behaviour but that's normal too.

  3. #3

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    Sound like you need a big hug yourself
    Of course your not a bad mum, we all need our space sometimes, it helps us to deal with life a bit better.On another day her whinging probably wouldn't have bothered you as much it seems like you just had a bit much on your plate. I hope she is feeling better today.

  4. #4

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    Definitely not a bad mum!!! I had such a bad day yesterday and monday that I am SooOOOOooo thankful to be at work today away from the constant whinging!!!!!!!!! I think it makes a better mother when she's had a chance to escape, relax and unwind than having a frazzled mother who doesn't have any time to herself!!!! Your patience seems to get longer when you have a good break away from them!!! Big hugs to you - you are doing a GREAT job!!!

  5. #5
    kirsty_lee Guest

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    Well even though im not due for another 12 weeks i hope my opinion still counts lol..... I dont think your a bad mum at all. A friend of mine made the ultimate mistake (in my view) of having the baby in the bed with her and DP from the minute she got home from hospital the baby wouldnt' sleep in her cot at all..so this went on for months and months... now its so bad that my friend cannot leave her in the cot or just playing by herself cause this baby will scream the house down. The minute she is picked up she's fine its like the baby thinks she's missing out on something. We've all tried to tell her that if the baby is changed and fed and you put her in the cot just leave her cry for a little bit and evenutally she will stop (unless its the sort of cry where there is something really wrong) but because the minute the baby cries my friend will pick her up i guess now bubs knows this is all she has to do.. My friend hasn't had any sleep for months because of this.... poor thing. But in your case I dont think your a bad mum at all... there is only so much crying you can handle especially when your trying to get ready for work and deal with useless real estate agents as well as trying to keep a baby happy . i Hope it gets better for you darl

  6. #6

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    Hell no! If you're a bad mum I must be terrible, because sometimes there is just nothing you can do, they are just whingy. I figure it's the same as when we're cranky or upset - sometimes there's just nothing that can console or cheer us up.

  7. #7
    DoubleK Guest

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    i feel the same a lot lately too, Krystal is more whingey than ever, and constantly yelling, and sometimes i just want time out!!

    i also feel bad, but i guess everyone needs a break!!

  8. #8

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    definately not a bad mum! if you've only just thought that and shes 9 months old then you are amazing! i don't feel guilty anymore that by around 5pm most evening i just can't wait for my little darlings to go to bed! its not that we don't love them or are bad mums its just that we do need some time to ourselves and if they've been especially clingy then that is magnified!

    hugs to you, you sound like a great mum

    Julie x

  9. #9

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    Thanks for your replies guys.

    I know that every mum needs a break from their baby, but I just felt so bad about it. I felt terrible that I couldn't wait to leave the house to go to work - especially when I didn't even want to return to work in the first place!

  10. #10

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    I wouldn't worry too much Ali.. you seem pretty normal to me!!!! (and BTW, I don't even feel terrible going to work anymore.. I like the fact that I can be "Mel" for a change, and not "Mum"!!!)

  11. #11

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    You really do need a hug! . Nope, you are definitely not a bad mother! Just because you look forward to some time to yourself doesn't mean you love your child any less. It just makes you a very normal person. Every mother feels the same as you at some stage. You have a needy little person who wants your constant attention, who doesn't need a break from that every now and then!

    Go and enjoy your time away, don't feel guilty.

  12. #12

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    You are not a bad Mum. I am a stay at home Mum and I can tell you that over the school holiday's I have wished that I could be a go out to work Mum. It can be very trying at times. I often ring my hubby and tell him I am going back to work.

    Enjoy your peace at work and don't feel guilty.

  13. #13

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    Oh my goodness me NO that doesn't make you a bad mum, just a normal one! e all have days like that, sometimes weeks or months like that even, just because we are now mothers doesn't mean we have the patience and tolerance of a Saint. Don't be so hard on yourself you are a wonderful mum

  14. #14
    Jodie259 Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alipralli View Post
    So anyway, does my getting annoyed with her, and wanting a break from the whinging make me a bad mum?

    God no... It makes you a NORMAL mum!!!!!!

    There are going to be times when Em (like every other baby/child) will be clingy or crying or just plain out naughty - and you will want to walk away from them.

    Sometimes I count the minutes until my husband walks in the door - so he can "take over".

    And with my newborn... I was sooooo tired the other night/morning... and DD was crying and I couldn't work out why... and I just lost it. I cried myself (very unusual) - and my DH just knew I had had enough. He told me to lie down, and he got up and hugged DD and eventually got her to fall asleep.

    We all adore our kids. And 99% of the time we want to be with them as much as possible. But there are times when you need to do stuff, and they are just being unbearable.

    So don't feel bad at all. It's just a great thing that your DH was available to 'take over' for a bit.

  15. #15

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    Oh love! You're soooooooooo NOT a bad mum!! Goodness me! I sometimes make sure that DD#1 & I are in separate rooms when she is driving me nuts!

    Sending you big big love!! I guess you can kinda create similarities in the relationship with your partner...........you tick each other off no doubt from time to time but that doesn't make you a bad partner! Get this, it makes you human, iykwim!


  16. #16

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    Oh god, I have days like that too! I even say to Df that he can stay home and I'll go to work full time instead! Its hard work being a mum and we all need a little time out now and then, doesn't mean we love them any less.

  17. #17

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    Thanks guys!

    Makes me feel a lot better about myself!

    And then today she has been the best baby ever! I took her shopping, so she was in the stroller for 3 hours, and she didn't whinge once! Made me very happy!

  18. #18

    Default

    Nope!

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