Does your toddler tanty???

[~mamaspice~]

She doesn't do this too often but when she does it's a cracker. It can be as simple as getting her hair washed (she is not a fan of this) or the water running out in her sippy cup that sets her off. She just cracks it and becomes absolutely hysterical (tears streaming down the face) and just roars and tenses up and thrashes around. I think she's more likely to have a tanty if she's tired. Tonights epidode started with me having to wash her hair because it was full of sand from Kindy and she cracked it and screamed. I got her out of the bath and lay her on the towel to put her nappy on and get her dressed and she thrashed around and wouldn't let me put her nappy on. I battled with her to get her dressed for half an hour. she was running about the house crying and just just physically faught against me every time I tried to get her nappy on/get hr dressed. In the end I just let her go and proceeded to do some tidying until she finally came up to me crying "mummy mummy" and I finally got her settled enough to get her dressed in her pj's. Then she had a bottle and crashed for the night.

When she has these tanties I find it soo stressful because nothing seems to work to settle her, I just have to let her ride it out.

Is this a normal behavior?

Any suggestions?

[Marlene]

Oh yes! If Jack has something he is not supposed to have and I take it off him, he will throw himself on the floor, put his face on the ground and kick his little legs! LOL, it's quite funny actually.


It is totally normal behaviour.

[Lolli]

I think it's pretty normal hun- or at least, it is in this house I've found the best course of action is to do as you did- ignore it (or pretend to ignore it). Sometimes i'll even just put ds on the ground and step back and say "Go for it" and look at him as if I'm waiting for a big performance. It normally fizzles out pretty quickly

[Mak]

Definitely! DD1 had some crackers around 20 months - she even learnt to move herself off the floorboards/tiles and onto the softer carpet before she flung herself on the floor It kinda lost the dramatic effect when she had to move rooms though, lol. We just tried to continue on and not pay it too much attention, it is hard to do!

[Nelle]

Errr yes. Several times a day?
Train track won't join properly? Tanty.
Favourite show finishes? Tanty.
Spill some drink? Throw the rest and Tanty.
Brother dares to brush him as he crawls past? Tanty. After hitting brother.

You're right, I think the more tired they are, the less resilient they are. It's a pain hey. If his brother's sleeping (they share a room), I'll sit him on the couch and read him a book - distraction works wonders here. If the bedroom is free, I'll carry him in, shut the safety gate behind him and maybe sing a song on his bed, or tell a story.
If he's been naughty, like hit his brother, he has to sit on a chair, and if he gets off, I keep placing him back on til he's calmed - the more irate he is, the more lenient I am, he can read a book or eat during his time out as long as he stays on the chair til he's calm.

He threw our first shopping centre tanty the other day (thankfully it was just a small local shopping place), lay on his back and cried, so I just calmly stood there, blocked his path when he tried to crawl away, until he was calm enough to be distracted and then we looked in a shop he was interested in, and I also distracted him by running with him (not easy with my arms full of other toddler, nappy bag and shopping!).

[~mamaspice~]

Thanks for the replies

I'm glad it seems pretty normal. I do worry about the length of her episodes though. I wasn't exadurating when I said it went on for nearly half an hour. There she was - running around the house - bare bottomed - absolutely hysterical. (was kinda cute but stressful at the same time really)

Thankfully we haven't had a tanty of this magnitude at the shopping centre just yet.

I gotta say though, it's got me slightly worried about how she's going to react once the curtain goes down at the Wiggles concert in december.

[Lulu]

Oh that will be a MASS tanty.....you won't be alone

[~clover~]

DS had his first tanty at 9 months old...not even walking yet & he laid on a friends loungeroom floor kicking, screaming & throwing himself around for near an hour til he finally agreed to boob & sleep!
We have at least one a day now We are having one right now!

[fionas]

DD has thrown some shockers and no-one in my Mothers Group will believe me as she's got a reputation as such a happy-go-lucky baby.

Her biggest ones have been over leaving the swimming pool - it took DP and I about 15 minutes to get her dressed because she was screaming and kicking so much and leaving the playground (after 90 minutes of going on the slide non-stop and shouting "more, more" each time she got off).

She was having tantrums at the drop of a hat at home too that reached a peak a few months ago (about 20 months).

Thankfully, they have died down A LOT. She even left the playground the other day with no tears though she did stage a sit-down protest on the footpath when she realised we HAD actually left.

The public ones are a tad embarrassing. DP and I try to smile and laugh and say stuff like, "yes, DD you're so hard done by, you have such a rotten life ... would you like to swap places with a kid in the Gaza Strip?"

[Nettie]

Oh that will be a MASS tanty.....you won't be alone

- that's the first thing I thought of too! LOL

Yes, we have small tantys here (he's still an apprentice). I'm worried about him developing his tanty skills. Nothing major yet and certainly no shopping centre stuff (but he still hasn't worked out that he could get out of the pram in shops! - we're saving that little gem).

It all seems pretty normal for this age... they grow out of it (so I'm told )

[~clover~]

It all seems pretty normal for this age... they grow out of it (so I'm told )

I think its more that it settles down for a few years. DD1 has just started settling down with her tanty ways (she still tries it!), but I'm waiting for it all to start up again by the time she's about 12!

[Inertia]

To quote DH: Is the Pope Catholic?

They all tantied. I am still waiting for Angie to grow out of it, lol. Only her tantrums are a little more dramatic these days. It starts as their best known way to communicate that they really hate something and progresses into emotional blackmail. Can't help but wonder why.. it didnt work when she was 2, its still not going to work when she is 12.

[amberj]

I have a Learner Tanty-er here too. Every time we say "no", or "be careful" he lets out this big extended whine. It cracks us up and then he looks at us like "that's not supposed to be funny, you know". When he gets frustrated he lies down and kicks the floor with hands and feet- only briefly at this stage, but he is still learning after all.

Laughing at tantys probably only encourages them, right?

[MeganH]

I think you get the picture by now that tanties are completely normal but I still thought Id post.

DD is almost 4 and she still has at least 2 a day. Most of the time she just yells at us now then runs to her room before I get a chance to put her in there, but today she has a mass tanty and when she does that often she will get a blood nose. Today was the worst ever, even we were concerned there was sooooo much blood. She is fine now though, this was about 1.5 hours ago now.

DS has just started to learn the whole cracking a tanty.

I dont understand why they continue to do it when surely they realise its not gunna get them anywhere. We do our best to ignore it, eg not looking at them, turning volume up on tv, leaving the room etc. etc. and pretend we cant even hear them. The only time we pay attention is when they hit us or bite or throw something as we dont put up with things like that. They must go to the bedroom or the naughty spot for time out until they are ready to kiss and cuddle and apologise.

[Isadora]

Does she ever!!! Had a giggle when I saw this thread. Just had to post, we've had some absolute awful ones lately!! You are not alone lol

[rhyb]

DS has started and his first big tanty was in a shopping centre! I look horrible trying to get my toddler away from the dolls pram while hes screaming. Then half an hour later we go to dinner at Sushi train, when his sushi was gone he threw himself at the train screaming cz he wanted more and kicking. The poor waitress was trying to give me the bill as I tried to subdue him. Horror child.

[YoYo]

OMG had to laugh...Tanti encore at the Wiggles....classic

You're definitely not alone...DS cracks it at me coz I have to COOK the food before he eats it!

[Mad Scientist]

Yep totally normal. I just walk out of the room if DD1 is chucking a big one or walk away from her (if she can't hurt herself obviously). She eventually settles down. It's an attention thing. Seeing how much they can get away with. Pushing the boundaries and all that jazz. Like Marlene says, if you can look at what they are doing and try to find something to laugh at (in your head otherwise they take that as a sign that you are reacting to the tanty) then it makes it so much easier to deal with. I find Amy's tanties funny because I know it's all normal and I've just resolved in myself that I won't give in to a tantrum. They do grow out of them if you are consistent in your dealings with them. Hugs to you. It's not fun at all xx