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Thread: Dont know

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Mar 2004
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    perth,Australia
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    Default Dont know

    I dont know what to think. I have this inner yearning for another baby.Even my husband thinks of sex sometimes as another baby. My concern is i dot think i will cope.I dont have 'me" time now. and if it is in conversation my mum says no way. I would love another but when the time is right and one goes to kinder. My house is small and so is my car.If i have another i dont know bout the money.
    I know 2 is great and i can provide but 3 is just right to me.
    Any answer right or whatever is helpful.Please help me get my mind right.


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    In Bankworld with Barbara
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    14,235

    Default

    After we had Paige, who was #3 (I know this isn't going from 2 to 3, but the feelings are the same kwim?), we said that maybe we would have one more, but we ummed and ahhhed for so long about it and all the pros and cons (pros being that we would have another child and cons being the usual - car, house and money). I did go for months feeling that I was happy with 3, but deep down inside I knew that I still really wanted another one and that I wasn't really as happy as I thought I was. In the end we didn't want to regret not having the 4th child we wanted so we decided to go for it and we haven't regretted it at all.

    I admit though that the adjustment time was hard at first but things have really settled down now. Some days I do feel like I'm not coping, but I always think to myself that tomorrow is another day and will be different from what today was. I completely understand the need for "ME" time, and I get to a point where if I don't get away for a day by myself I will just scream, but the way I see it is this is such a short time in the grand scheme of things and before I know it they will all be at school and I will have all the me time I want then.

    Sometimes I think you just have to go with your heart (the ache for another baby) and not your head (thinking of the time, house, car and money)

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    On Channel Zzzzzzz
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    Default

    I have spoken to a couple of my friends who have 3 children (I currently have 2) and I asked if they were certain they were 'complete' now iykwim. Both of them said that they had that yearning for another bubby when they only had 2 children but as soon as #3 came along, they felt they were 'done'. I too have been wondering whether 2 is enough for me and how will I know etc. I agree with Sherie, whilst we want to be smart etc, I believe in listening to your heart because without a conscious decision, whatever we want in life, whatever is our passion, if you want it bad enough, you will find a way. We will always have our tricky moments in life but again, as Sherie said, tomorrow is always another day and our babies grow up so fast that we really only have them for such a short precious time anyways that imo (and imo only ) the sacrifice is worth it.....

    ....hth love. xx

  4. #4

    Default

    I know I do not want 2 - I am OK with one, but would prefer 3 (or six, ideally!).

    Me-time is hard, but it's hard with one as well as two: if your DH can take one he can take two for a couple of hours, you'll be doing it all day!

    And unless you invite comments, it's rude of your mother to comment. Even if you do, it's rude to tell someone no way, even if you do think it!

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Apr 2007
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    Default

    I'm facing this decision myself but have very limited time to make it (I'm 38). Last time I had an unstable pelvis which was very painful so worst case scenario is that I have a two-year-old and a newborn to look after while I'm in a wheelchair. I have no family support (they're in the UK) so I'd pretty much be doing it on my own apart from help from DH who works shifts.

    Despite this and despite how hard it will be, I would rather 12 months of sheer exhaustion than a lifetime of regrets if we don't try. It also means we will be very cramped (step-daughter is also coming to live with us in our two-bedroom plus study house) BUT hey, they won't be the first kids to share a bedroom.

    Go with your heart.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Melbourne, Vic
    Posts
    4,349

    Default

    If your heart is saying you want a third maybe you should seriously consider it.
    You're still quite young so maybe you could wait little while longer before you start, like you said when one goes to kinder or even school.
    As for worrying bout house, don't stress, growing up I lived in a small 12 square house and we fitted a family of 6.
    Just take your time to think about it and decide when you feel the time is right.

  7. #7
    smiles4u Guest

    Question

    I had my 1st bub at 40 & we have being trying for another (I just turned 42) ... What I would give to have another 3yrs up my sleeve

    If you have years up your sleeve why try now ??? ... Take advantage of the time you have to enjoy & cherish the time you have to spend with your two sweet lil girl's until you feel you don't need to question yourself and it just simply feels right when the time comes, just don't leave it too late like past 35 for example

    As for me, my sweet daughter took us years ... And I think she was secretly waiting to make her grand entrance when she was ready, LOL
    Last edited by smiles4u; January 28th, 2008 at 02:02 AM. Reason: added a bit : )

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