I remember the night routine with DD1. It went on for months for us. We would put her into bed (we took the side rails off the cot because it was evident she hated that) and I'd sit on the floor beside her. I'd muck around on the laptop and rarely say anything to her, other than a gentle but firm "go to sleep, DD" if she started to play up a bit. But it would often take up until around 10pm to get her off to sleep and she would rarely allow DH to do it. It got better over time and we figured out that she would go to sleep quicker if we left the room. We did that in baby steps - we'd stay with her for quite a while and then leave, but the time we stayed got shorter and shorter.

The long nights of mucking around was also one of the reasons we stopped day sleeps. Even now, if she has a nap during the day (usually if she flakes in the car), she will lie in bed awake until 11.

But it did settle down eventually!

I reckon for now, get DH to do bedtimes. See if you can get her back into the habit of going to sleep easier. You take over on the weekends when time is a little bit freer. Try an earlier bedtime? We've gone earlier again with DD2 just recently, she's asleep just before 6.30 where it's been around 7.30-8 previously. What happens if you try to get her to fall asleep if you snuggle up on your bed and then move her? Playing music for her while she has a drink (not necessarily kid's songs either - DD2 alternates between rock ballads and dance tracks). You've probably tried all of this, but thought I'd throw it out there just in case.

I completely understand the frustration. And tiredness and lack of time for yourself. Let DH take over for now, let the frustration pass and then try again in a few days