DS seems to prefer hubby...its not personal, right?
My DS (18 month) just adores his daddy- which is really wonderful. It gives me great happy glows to see how much they delight in one another.
But the thing is, he really seems to get much more excited about seeing DH than me. When we pick him up from day care, he will bowl me over to get to his dad. Same when we pick him up from anywhere, actually. Ignore mum, run to dad. He clings to DH when he goes to leave and just generally is all in to dad.
I do KNOW its not personal, but I can't pretend it doesn't hurt. I also KNOW that is all about me and my own issues- my DH is the outgoing, funny, quirky one and I am the introverted, quiet one and it always seems like everyone prefers him. I have this whole fear that everyone thinks I am boring, so what DS is doing is just playing on all of that.
I am careful to not talk about this or make any allusion to it in front of DS- I know its about me, and its totally not fair to put it on him in any way. I guess I just need some hugs and sympathy from others who have maybe been in the same or similar spot.
I should add, its not that I have any doubts about my relationship or bonding with DS- we play and laugh and have a great time together and I know he adores me too. But I can be very easily shoved aside when DH appears!
DS1 wont say he loves me but says it all the time to DH...it makes me sad But I think its just that he is with me all the time. I think too ist cause my DH is fun fun fun and I am mummy who is strict..well sometimes
DS is like that with his daddy aswell ALWAYS wants daddy, ignores me when DH is there. sometimes its good i can get stuff done but when im done and wanna spend time together DS tells me to go away(nice huh?) or just ignores me im hoping its just a stage he is going thru.
DS is the same. I turn up to Nursery, he says "my mammy", grabs my legs, then walks off again.
He sees DH and SCREAMS until he gets a cuddle.
Even at the play, I wasn't good enough (I went up to him, side of the stage, to calm him but all he wanted was Daddy, who had stood there telling me the screaming child on stage had to get used to it - mais pourquoi?).
Nothing to do with me: I know I play with DS, talk to him, love him... all DH does is grump or tickle. I get my reward now though: DS will only play the "I love you" game with me! He won't tell DH he loves him. Clearly he wants something from Daddy that DH isn't giving him, hence him always asking for it. DS sees me more than DH too: I do things with him, or we do them as a family. Very little Daddy/Son time. DH not only works, but spends nights/weeks away from home with work. I don't and have a lot of time at home with DS. DH also has hobbies that take him away all weekend. So DH is more exciting simply because of the rarity factor... not because I'm dull!
From about an hour after her birth DD has always been a daddy's girl. He was the only one who could settle her as a newborn. She'd only come to me for a feed then all she wanted was daddy. She will allow me to play with her during the day but as soon as daddy walks in that door she tells me go away mummy daddy home now. It breaks my heart too. She will give me kises and cuddles but she is most definitely a major daddy's girl. Everyone can pick up on it the second they see the three of us together. They have an unbelievably strong bond and he can get her to do things that I can't. If Dave and I arrive together to pick her up she pushes me aside and races to DH screaming daddy daddy daddy yay daddy!! I get acknowledged later on. I'm just biding my time because she is going to want to date at some stage and that is when she's going to need her mummy, LOL!!
But I'm with you Amber, it does make my heart ache/hurt.
My DS is about the same age as yours, and Dad is definitely the favourite in this house. He bawls when Dad goes to work but if I leave the house it doesn't really matter as he is by his Dad's side anyway and doesn't notice. Yup, it hurts and I've been in tears before but I love the bond that they have.
Aww Jessica I could have written the exact same post. DS is 19 months and these last few weeks he has preferred DH. During the day when it's just me and him, he's good and is my little mate, but as soon as DH is there as well, he prefers DH. The last few nights, he has woken up crying out for "Daddy, Daddy" and I can't console him. Last night, I couldn't even be in the room. He started to settle down with DH once I left them alone. I went back to bed crying myself It does hurt very much, but you're right, it's not personal.
DS is the same as well, we have a great time together playing and reading etc, but as soon as daddy gets home I'm shoved to one side and it's all about dad.
I put it down to the fact that he spends a great deal more time with me than DH, so when he's with him he makes the most of it!
It's certainly not about you, don't take it to heart.
xxx
DD is the same already!! DH has recently had a week off and now she's even more of a Daddy's girl. When she cries she wants Daddy. When he leaves she screams. She has to be ON him all the time if he's home. If he tries to pass her to me she clings to him and turns away from me and screams
My DH is so full of energy and always playing with her so I think that's why. He's so fun and I'm just boring old Mummy she has all day every day.
My DD is obsessed with her daddy and he is definitely the favourite despite me having the milky goods! I put it down mostly to the novelty factor as she sees me all day and also I am no fun because i don't spend all my time playing with her, i have to get some house work and other boring stuff done wheras dad is all fun and games. I try to just enjoy it and see it as a bit of time to have some timeout or time to get some things done. She always wants to play with dad when both of us are around and she will say "daddy play" and if i go to play with her she will cry! I figure she may go through different phases of this as well? Am hoping I might be the favourite in later years? Lol!
I think it is normal and no reflection on you whatsoever
Even though it's not human... my horses all adore my DH - he never makes them do anything hard, but only feeds them. He's their ideal human! Same goes for our dogs. I dicipline them way more than he does (but they are more obedient when I command them), but they go nuts for him.
Try not to get too up set over it. your baby loves you more than you know.
I just put it down to me being home with my DS all day and Daddy working Monday to Friday. He's screams the house down when he leaves for work then when he comes back he will follow him around everywhere!
Im sure it's not a personal thing hun. It's just that they don't see them as often.
From experience, I think that most kids go through phases of preferring mummy, then daddy, then mummy again... I wouldn't worry, as I am fairly certain that it will pass.
DD was a daddy's girl at about 18 months, but now, a year later, she is very much into me. (And to be honest, I wish she would let me rest sometimes... :P ). It could also be because I work and DH is stay-at-home-dad, so it could be the rarity factor. Either way, like you said, you know your DS loves you, and I'm sure that he will start showing it more as he gets older.
Reply With QuoteOh hun.
But I think its just that he is with me all the time. I think too ist cause my DH is fun fun fun and I am mummy who is strict..well sometimes
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DS seems to prefer hubby...its not personal, right?
Yup, it hurts and I've been in tears before but I love the bond that they have.
from me! I know EXACTLY how you feel!
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