thread: Extreme separation anxiety? Or normal?

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    Nth West Melbourne
    997

    Extreme separation anxiety? Or normal?

    DS has gone into separation anxiety overload in, like, the last two or three weeks (coinciding, as usual, with his becoming more mobile). Its come to a stage where I can't leave the room without him screaming and half the time even in the same room I need to be holding him. Its quite rare for him to be able to play alone these days, something he used to be fairly good at.

    Does this sound like normal separation anxiety, or more than usual? I guess my concern is that about 4-5 weeks ago he started FDC, but only one day a week, so its not really a big deal. But I'm afraid that he's got freaked out by it and suddenly really scared- have I broken him??! Or is this just very normal? If so, how long does it last for?


  2. #2
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Sunny Qld
    14,682

    Completely normal.

    Unfortunately.

    My DS started this at around 7 months and it went until about 18/19 months? It got worse at 14 months, couldn't put him down at all. Drove me mental.

    DD is going through it now.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Taking a ride on my grdonkey :D
    2,716

    Umm, pretty normal in my opinion. I don't think it's a coincidence about the daycare thing - my DD never had an issue being away from me at any time, for any length of time, until a few weeks after I started her on one day a week at daycare (at 17 months). Then she got really clingy and for a couple of weeks even refused to talk to my parents, her other two favourite people in the world lol, which surprised and scared me, as she was afraid I would leave her with them and disappear for a while. And, like your bub, she didn't like me being out of sight - one day my dad was over (I had a doctor's appt and thought she might be more comfy in her own home with poppy rather than going to his house), and when I went into the bathroom to finish putting on makeup she got so upset because she thought I'd left her lol... I mean, ten minutes later I did, but Dad said she cried for a few minutes, stood at the door yelling 'Mummy!' and then went to sleep on dad's lap hahaha. No harm done
    Thankfully, she's over it now, and back to her usual sociable self. I wonder if maybe something happened at daycare (eg a kid pulled her hair or stole a toy or something small like that) to upset her enough to worry about not having mummy around to defend her, but at the end of the day it's neither here nor there - she has to learn to adjust some time!!
    Like I said, she's back to her normal self, some mornings she still has a few tears when she realises I'm leaving her at daycare, but the ladies there assure me that within five minutes of my departure she's happily running around, playing, and getting into her usual mischief, so I don't worry about it.

    I suppose it depends on the individual child as to how long this 'phase' (and I'm sure it is just a phase) lasts... some kids will go on for months with it, others will snap out of it very soon. Don't feel bad, as far as I'm concerned it's just another learning experience for them, it won't scar him for life or anything and it will make him more resilient, kwim?? It can be very stressful for you though to see the tears, so try not to stress about it, they tend to pick up on those negative vibes and it upsets them more. Good luck!!

  4. #4
    BellyBelly Member
    Add kitten2b on Facebook

    Feb 2005
    canberra
    1,580

    both my 2 have/are going through this now, with Fia it started when we left her with my MIL overnight a few weeks back, now she doesn't let me leave her sight, especially when we are at MIls house. With Maria it was worse at about 12 months, just before she was mobile, it was a phase and she is much better now.