Ohhh honey you are not a failure, you have been through so much. As others have said it's totally normal for such a young baby to want to be held, it takes them a couple of months to get the hang of settling down.

Watch for tired signs, waving arms, rubbing eyes and try and settle him before he cries. We used a monitor that plays the sounds the baby hears on the womb, it works wonders.

It will get easier, but don't be afraid to ask for help from your dh, family and friends.