My biggest 'pet hate' with regard to other people giving my kids food is when it's given around meal times as I know they won't eat their dinner/lunch if they have just had a sweet. So the treat itself doesn't actually worry me that much (provided it's seen as a special thing, not an everyday thing) but god it annoys me if it's given before healthy food! My kids aren't particularly food orientated so I find they need to be peckish to eat their main meals so we limit snacks during the day. Hard work when some random person offers them an ice-cream at 4pm!
As Nai said... I would think it should be common sense to ask first... but you can't always count on common sense
It's funny how many people don't get it, a couple of years ago my boss wanted to give a lolly to every child that came in, & we had to tell him you can't do that! - then he wanted to know why? - best of intentions, mind you, but clueless anyway
Yep, I think people should check first but it kind of depends who it is as to how 'offended' I am.
There's a woman in the milk bar who always gives DD something when we go in. Sometimes it's junk like a mini bag of lollies and sometimes it's healthy like an apple. Now, I don't mind really because she obviously enjoys seeing DD and I think she grabs the first thing that comes to mind.
On the other hand, with friends I do mind. I had one who said, "what she's not allowed to have biscuits yet," when DD was only one. I think she wanted to use it as an opportunity to make a point that I'm an over-protective parent. I did mind that because she should have known better and when I said no, not questioned it. If it had been the other way around, I would have apologised for offering something that someone else's child wasn't allowed, not got huffy about it.
This all depends on the situation and who is doing it.
Frankly there is no point getting upset when an 80+ old lady offers a homemade biscuit. Have btdt trying to get them to understand it is not the done thing these days, but they are of the generation where additives etc were not an issue and for some reason they did not seem to have to deal with allergies. They think offering something homemade is a good thing and in basic sense, they are right, better than a lot the rubbish out there.
I have gone off before when we were at a Home Expo. DD1 had wandered to a nearby stand and had come back with lollies. Initially I had no idea where the lollies had come from, they could have come from a stange man in the crowd or she could have picked them up off the ground. So I started yelling at her "where did you get those lollies?" Finally a bloke at one of the stands admitted to giving them to her and I just yelled at him that he should have asked first. Had I known where they came from I would not have gotten angry.
I think it's a common courtesy to ask first, but there are plenty of people out there who don't! I often get odd looks if I don't let DD have certain foods - there's plenty of stuff she's not had yet which people think is common place to give to kids (lollies, cordial, soft drink, etc!). I am getting a bit more lax now.
I get annoyed with MIL occasionally (although not so much now) - at prob 4 months, she gave DD a choc hedgehog to have a suck on, and has let DD finish the dregs of her coffee! The worst thing she has done in regards to food wasn't to DD luckily - at a school fair, she gave a stanger's toddler sausage rolls and kransky's - the mother had to come up and ask her to stop giving her toddler food! That was a bit too far!
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- best of intentions, mind you, but clueless anyway 
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