Re head bobbing, have you tried laid back nursing or lying down to feed? Sometimes the problem is gravity pulling their head back because they're in the cradle hold (or similar) and not over the breast where gravity would pull them down on to it.
Sometimes it's just that they need a bit of time/help to get calm before they feed. Even letting him suck on your finger for a bit can help with that.

Anyway, it sounds like you're figuring it all out yourself