you are so not a horrible mum Isa! I agree with Trillian - I always find it worse when I have a 'deadline' in mind and I think J picks up on that....
Does your DH put her down sometimes? we alternate and it is so much easier for me when I am putting N down! (J is also much quicker for DH than he is for me, i thi k i am the 'sucker' who cuddles, pats, creeps oiut of room, DH is loving btu way more business like about it)