frustrated with 6 week old baby and partner

[delphmoon]

My DD was the same. I slept on the couch for the first 4 weeks of her life and was getting upset that I wasn't cuddling up to hubby (who needed his sleep).

All I can do is tell you what I did and hopefully some of it will give you ideas..

DD firstly was getting belly aches from the formula and she was throwing up with it to. I let her sleep in her bouncer which kept her elevated so stopped her from throwing up...I also became more vigilant about burping her properly.

I also stopped sleeping in the lounge with her and brought the bouncer in the bedroom with me and DH. I slept with the light dimmed and when she woke for a feed I would feed her there-beside the bed. That way she wasn't getting over stimulated. I don't know if it was luck but letting her sleep in the bouncer and feeding her in the quiet and darkenend bedroom seemed to work. When she stirred I would soothe her with my voice rather than rocking or patting (as I didn't want her to get used to be rocked to sleep).
Only this week I have moved her into the cot (which is in our room). She sleeps right through (at the moment ) and when she does stir I can soothe her with afew "its alright baby" and she goes back to sleep.

Maybe its luck though

I remember a disagreement I had with DH when DD was 3 weeks old. DH felt HE was sleep deprived and wanted more sleep because HE had to work...excuse me!!!!!!!! I informed him in no uncertain terms that I had not since the day DD was born had more than 3-4 hours of sleep a night if I was lucky and here I was bringing up a baby who cried and screamed, required feeding and changing, and loving whilst still cleaning the house cooking tea, doing the daily errands etc...this is not working??? LOL...my blood still boils when I think about it.

Basically, your working too-so if DH gets a bad nights sleep- well- stiff cheddar I say...seriously...

[Kazbah]

What we did was I slept on the jason recliner with Pip on my chest for the first 6 weeks of his life. DH worked too, and I was worried about him not getting enough rest. We FF him, which was a lifesaver for me - every saturday night was my night "off". I figured that Friday night DH needed to recover from work, sunday night he needed to get well-rested for work. So Saturday night was my night - DH would look after Pip, on the recliner, all night. He'd start off putting him down and trying to sleep in our bed, but that just didn't work, and he found the recliner did (like I said!). Sometimes they (DHs) really need to experience before they believe. Also I found that knowing DH was looking after DS meant that I really did sleep well and that would give me so much energy - mental and physical.

Good luck!!!

[misty]

My first was exactly the same. She had reflux which just made everything worse. I spent alot of time sleeping in an ezy-boy rocker recliner (the best $500 I have ever spent) because I just could not put her down. The other thing I did was bring her in bed with DH and myself, she would snuggle in and I at least got a little rest - DH will probably surprise you at being able to sleep right through her being there. And if not, he can always sleep on the sofa bed Yes he needs his sleep, but so do you!! In fact my DH learnt very quickly that it was actually more important for ME to get sleep then him, because 1) I was the sole carer of our child, if I couldn't function it was dangerous for our baby 2) If I was sleep deprived I became a horrible person to live with - angry, grumpy, miserable, no labido. You need to worry about you first, because if you don't look after yourself, how on earth are you going to be able to look after anyone or anything else. Also, if you are able at all sleep during the day when bubs does - forget about housework and everything else, take care of yourself first.

I also had a couple of different carry pouches for during the day and a bouncer she would sleeping during the day (because if was inclined she could sleep in it without chucking up everywhere. We also propped the mattress in the cot up so it was inclined once she got a bit bigger - you just put a rolled up towel under one end of the mattress.



I know it doesn't help, but it does get better. A couple of weeks is such a long time when you are sleep deprived and paricularly when you are looking after your first baby (especially when it is such a needy baby). But it does get better.

[mum2be2010]

thanks ladies, it makes me feel better that im not alone. what type of baby slings would you recommend?? i've tried to put her in the bubba moe sling a few times she seems to hate not being able to see out, its good if i want to carry her around but not if she wants to go to sleep! i think i'll have quite a few questions for you ladies ...i guess i've got to keep persisting to get her to sleep at least even in the bouncer?

[kelebek]

I remember those early days so well and it really is hard
you could try a HAB or wrap style carrier that means bubs will be more upright which should help with reflux. DS was the same and it just felt like I could not put him down, I kept reminding myself that we were one for 9 mnths and so it is fairly reasonable to him that he would want to be cuddled and reassured in this strange world. TBH (and sorry if this grosses people out) there were weeks were I didn't have a shower everyday. Have one when DH is home and let him watch DD. Another tip Sleep when she does, the housework will wait but this time will go by soooo quickly.

[starangelk]

Mum2be - we have a baby bjorn. I know there is alot of information about these not being great but DD is only in it about once a week for a few hours. When she was little like your LO, we had her facing towards us and as she was upright she got alot of burps and wind out. Then from the rocking motion of us walking, she would just drift off to sleep with her head resting against my chest. It worked for both of us...........hugs for you. You are not alone, we're all here for you.

[kungfubecca]

thanks ladies, it makes me feel better that im not alone. what type of baby slings would you recommend?? i've tried to put her in the bubba moe sling a few times she seems to hate not being able to see out, its good if i want to carry her around but not if she wants to go to sleep! i think i'll have quite a few questions for you ladies ...i guess i've got to keep persisting to get her to sleep at least even in the bouncer?

we have a hug a bub, skip pea pod position because the next one puts their head right on your chest and they can hear your heart beat, rock from side to side and she will be asleep in no time