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Thread: getting worse not better....

  1. #1

    Default getting worse not better....

    my baby is 8 weeks old and her not sleeping and crying episodes are getting worse not better. everyone says they should settle by 6 weeks but i think she was easier when she was 4 weeks old than she is now! it is a little depressing actually, as it seems that everyone elses babys are much easier to handle than mine is.



    the child health nurse said to watch for tired signs and then straight away put her to bed and push the basinette, or pat her, until her eyes half close then stop. well the things is i am pushing her for 40 mins at a time before she falls into a proper sleep. if i stop pushing when her eyes half close she instantly wakes up wide eyed and i have to start again. Once she does falls asleep she wakes again every 5- 10 mins andi have to keep pushing her. the alternative is what i have been doing and that is letting her sleep on my chest, but then again that is a bad habit for her to be in, and i cant just lay around all day with a baby on my chest!

    yesterday she missed her sleep and was screaming off the top of her head from 3:30pm until 5:30pm, then again from 6:30pm until 9:30pm. i just dont know what to do and feel like my child is the only one who does this!

  2. #2

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    BAH! Whoever said "they should settle by 6 weeks" needs a great big slap! What a load of hogwash! Have you tried other settling methods? Perhaps the one you are trying doesn't really appeal to her. We tried to settle Seth in our arms for the first few weeks and it would take hours to get him to sleep, then we started re-swaddling, introduced a musical mobile and tried settling in his bed and he settled alot easier that way. Instead of 3 hrs to get to sleep it took 40 mins, then 30, then 25 and now about 10 mins sometimes less. But feel assured that your baby is definitely NOT the only baby to do this.

    Another suggestion might be to hire a hammock and see if she prefers that? And missing a sleep can cause very cranky overtired babies.

    Goodluck!

    *hugs*
    Cailin

  3. #3

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    All babies are different and some settle really quickly and some take longer. I guess the first thing is to try and work out why she's crying - is she just over tired or may she have some reflux, colic, constipation etc. You mentioned that you don't want to get into any bad habits - well i think that they are only bad habits in other peoples eyes - in other words we do what ever we need to do to get by. Also if she's not sleeping you are probably also exhausted and everything is magnified by 100 when we are tired. Does she fall asleep while you are feeding her? If she does can you feed and then pop her into her cot to sleep or does she wake up. You could also try some bubba music CD's to help her drift off to? MCHN although most of the time in my experience offer good advice I found they were VERY much into not rocking your baby to sleep in your arms but get them in their cot and tap/rock them there. Our gorgeous girl always fell asleep after/during drinking her bottle in our arms and then we put her to bed. She is now 2 and a bit and we have no problems with her going to bed. She is more than happy to climb in when we say its bed time without much fuss - so rocking in our arms did no harm there! When she does sleep it is important that you recharge your batteries too. I still have the odd afternoon nap when Mackenzie is down and I don't feel bad about it - everyone knows that the tidying up can wait until tommorrow! I don't have the magical solution for you but I'm sure you will get loads of responses with all different ideas to try. And no your bubba isn't the only one who does this - my friend had a baby who screamed for 12 months - he's now 4 and still dosn't really need a lot of sleep but she survived and now she has twins!

  4. #4

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    hollo, trust me, your baby is not the only one doing this!! I've had my fair share of bad days/weeks with Nina! What you are describing is what Nina went through at 6 weeks. It was hell for that week, everytime she'd fall asleep she'd wake up 5 minutes later, still be tired, but wouldn't sleep, and was crying constantly. I think she was going through a growth spurt and was just really cranky about it all. And the only time she would settle was if I was holding her.
    Does your bub take to the dummy? I know sometimes with Nina it is a godsend! How about comfort feeding? Does she like the pram? If so, maybe taking her for a walk. I've just realised in the last couple of days that Nina loves to go for a walk in her pram, so each afternoon at around 5 we go for a walk and it settles her, and since starting this she hasn't been doing the 'witching hour' thing at night.
    One other thing is that she might just be going through a growth spurt?

    Good luck to you hun, and let us know how you go.

  5. #5

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    My baby was terribly unsettled and she didn't settle for several months. The crying was terribly traumatic. For us the dummy helped. It would calm her down no end. We used to put her on her side with some music on and hold that dummy in her mouth. Eventually she would go to sleep. There are no quick fixes but it does get better with time - really it does. The 6 weeks is rubbish!

  6. #6

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    Hollo,
    As the others have said... All babies are different, heck my 2 are prrof of it!
    There is no such thing as a bad habit or making a rod for your back etc with a new born baby!

    Imagine if you had lived in the comfort of a tummy where all your needs were met & in 6-8 or even more weeks someone expected you to be comfortable, fitting in, safely, securely etc... If you had no voice to talk with what would you do???

    Please darl, dont be so hard on yourself...

    Some evenings I soak in the bath with my baby for 20+ mins til she was settled.... We'd then cuddle wrapped in a towel slowly get her dressed & then let her feed/suckle & transfer her to bed, she felt safe & secure next to my naked body floating in the bath, it was beautiful & relaxing for both of us!

    You do whatever you need to get some rest, sleep with her next tio you dduring the day, it is surprising how an afternoon nap can make things seem brighter!!!

  7. #7

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    Yep - I'm with the others. We used to sit with her forever crying to get her to sleep. All hours of the day or night, and it didn't stop at 8w.
    I will say that I probably started to interpret her a little better at about the 10w mark, and alot of what I had been told started making more sense, but it was still alot longer before we could settle her.
    We also had a baby that had to be rocked or patted to sleep for along time. She has always woken up as soon as the pram or the car stops, and thats that. I used to also have to feed to sleep for a long time too.

    Eventually, when the dust has settled, you might want to worry about a routine or your own system for getting your one to sleep, but in the meantime dont be afraid to offer lots of cuddles for some rest time.

    Big hugs - it will get better slowly.

  8. #8

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    Where does your bubba sleep?

    Thinking back now, Kayla was like that at that age and we did the same thing as you are doing. As soon as we moved her into the cot though, it all stopped and she started sleeping alot better.

    We never thought that the bassinette was the problem, but must have been. I guess she was letting us know that she was uncompy.

  9. #9

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    Oh my gawd, I am in the same boat Hollo...

    Our little fella SCREAMS (almost hysterically) for hours on end and won't sleep no matter what (wrapping, rocking, singing, music, extra feeds) sometimes. He goes for about 9 hours a day of screaming with sometimes the only breaks being when he's on the boob. We have taken him to a day centre for help and been given all sorts of extra ideas but nothing seems to work. Every now and then we get a good day but that's not real often. He is WAY over tired all the time but we can't do much about it when he won't sleep... He's rarely awake and happy (ie not crying or screaming).

    It is soooooooo hard and all I can do is hope that it will get better soon... On the rare occassions that Riley is good I just wish he'd stay like that.

    The only thing that seems to work for me is to put him down straight from the boob (have him already wrapped - that's his biggest hate I think) if he's fallen asleep - but even that doesn't work all the time. Argh!

    Anyway, I can't help you obviously but I wanted to let you know that you're definitely not the only one in this situation... Hopefully things will get better for us soon...

  10. #10

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    This isn't going to make you feel much better Hollo, but I totally understand and I'm still going through it......

  11. #11

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    Ella also had an 'evil hour' around 5pm at that age too for a bit. We managed to solve it quickly with giving her a soothing bath with a massage using lavendar and camemile cream, quiet music in background and lower lights.

    During the day we also started a firm routine of feed, activity (like tummy time, under her playgym, singing and toys etc...) then as soon as we'd glimps a yawn, jerky movement or eye rub our 'sleep routine' would begin with going into Ella's room, have a quiet cuddle in her rocking chair, have her sleeping music playing, blinds closed.... After 5-10 mins of settling down i'd wrap her tightly in her cot, dummy in - say something like have a lovely sleep sweetheart...see you later - and walk out. We did the same thing each time and very quickly Ella seemed to understand it was sleeping time when we entered her room and the blinds closed/music on...

    It really was something that worked for us - each baby is different though and it does take a bit of time to figure out what will suit you and your little one. I really hope things get a bit easier soon

  12. #12

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    6 weeks - bollocks! I suppose you get to hear from EVERYONE in the world how their baby slept through the night from birth, blah, blah.

    Mitchell was just terrible, it was heartbreaking not knowing how to "fix" him. If you can get a friend to come over and take bubs for a walk for an hour whilst you SLEEP. Keep trying different things and just know that you will get through this.

    Take care - it won't last forever. I promise.

  13. #13

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    Oh honey - I really feel for you so much. Dont worry bubba will get better.
    I'm sure you have this already sussed but have you ruled out silent ruflux, reflux, colic and all those other ailments?
    Also, do you leave her to settle a little when she wakes? I dont mean letting her scream but all babies have a little whinge when they try and go to sleep.. sometimes Allegra would mumble and have a little cry on and off for about 20 minutes before settling a little.
    I also dont think you should worry too much about bad habbits at such a young age. I think you need to sort out bubba having regular good sleeps and then deal with the sleep associations. Remember good day sleeps reflect on good night sleeps.
    I agree that perhaps a hammock might help and there are some great music for babies CD's which help too to settle bubs.
    Good luck and hope you have a settled night

  14. #14
    Fraser Guest

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    Hollo - I know exactly what you're going through - Charlie had the same unsettled period aroun 8 weeks - someone told me 12 weeks was when they normaly settled down and no jokes I was counting down the days!!!

    I think a lot of it comes down to how settled you are - I really calmed down and started relaxing with Charlie around 10 or 11 weeks and then he calmed down.

    I heard the other day somewhere that babies are not ready to be born until they are 3 months old - meaning they don't come into their own until then - not like horses or sheep or cows that start walking once they are born etc - babies take a while to adjust to everything.

    I reckon your Bubba will settle when she's ready and used to everything - and when you are more relaxed and have worked out her different cries - that doesn't help at all really does it! but time helps and she will sort herself out!

    hang in there!

  15. #15
    Cee_Cee99 Guest

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    i highly recommend a hammock - it solved all our problems, for about 6 weeks. There is a video of me on BB swinging my DD in her hammock (using a string). So you can see what they look like. (Go to my profile, my webpage) It is the only video on there.

    However, now she is older she has learnt that hammock menas sleep time so she is not as cooperative, in fact now she will cry as soon as I enter the room with the hammock... that said, it will still put her to sleep. If I did not have the hammock, I dont' know how I would cope... For Ally she either needs the boob, the hammock or the baby carrier to go to sleep.

    It changed our lives.

    One trick, let them stay up for an hour then the first yawn, or rubbing eyes or at an hour & 15 mins, put them to sleep. The more they sleep during the day, it seems the more they sleep at night.

    Good luck honey, we all know how you feel.
    luv

    cc

  16. #16

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    My first was terribly fussy from birth. She cried and nursed non stop for the first 48 hours of her life, and then settled down to every hour. She often cried long and hard for reasons unknown to us. We tried everything - as you have. Chiropractic care helped a fair bit for us. You could give that a shot, and see how it goes. The other things that she liked were a warm bath, being in a sling or snugli, and sometimes I would lay her on her tummy on a towel on top of the clothes dryer when it was running. She would fall asleep like that. (stay right beside her the whole time, of course! And watch that it doesn't get hot) Of course, then the trick was to move her without waking her up. Also, that old wives tale about running the vacuum cleaner to help them settle really worked for us. Hope you find something that works for you. I know it's a brutal time - sleep when you can, and get help from family/friends. All the best!
    Last edited by Cricket; October 19th, 2006 at 09:17 PM.

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