Going to sleep- how can I change it without tears?

[peekay]

Hi I'm after some advice if anyone has any to offer!

My little one is 16 months old and has always (well from 4 months onwards) needed help going to sleep. He was BF to sleep until he weaned a couple of months ago and now he sits on our laps and puts his head on our chest.

I am newly pregnant and I'm wondering if he will be ever be happy to go to sleep by himself. I wouldn't mind having to pat him or rub his back, but I know it's going to become difficult holding him as I get bigger. I've tried patting but he won't lie down and gets very upset. I'm not prepared to let him cry. Is there a gentle way to help him? Or will he grow out of it?

[Arcadia]

What happens if you lie down next to him? Can you rub his back and cuddle him then? Sometimes DD rolls around and tries to crawl, but I hold her close and firmly, and she gets the idea pretty quickly.

Good luck with it! You sound like a loving, gentle mummy!

[peekay]

If I lie with him he thinks it's a game and crawls all over me . I think I might try this more often though and hope he gets the idea.

Thanks for your advice

[luna moth]

Do keep trying. Be firm - when he crawls all over you, just put him back where he's supposed to go - keep talking to an absolute minimum, like "It's bed time"
When he is lying down, try to avoid eye contact, as this will keep his mind stimulated. If you can, close your eyes. Show him the right thing to do.

Also, before it's bedtime, prepare him for that. Create a routine (you probably already have one) and make it fairly detailed - clean teeth, change nappy, read story etc, and keep it constant. Before you start the bedtime routine, and throughout it, talk about everything you've done that day, and label some emotions for him, talk about being tired, so that he starts to understand why it's bedtime. Say stuff like "We've had a very busy day today. We did this, and then we did this, and we had vegemite sandwiches for lunch..... I'm feeling tired after all that swimming. I can tell that I'm tired because I'm yawning" etc etc. Just slip it in to conversation so that he knows it's coming.
It's also important to give him warnings. He might not understand time yet, but you can say "We're going to pack up your toys in five minutes and then we're going to have your bath." It is never too early to start this habit, and it will be really helpful in later times.

Good luck!