We started having the same probs. I got one of those buckets with rubber from target for about $4 and it means she doesn't have to lie down. That combined with me singing "this is the way we wash our hair" seems to have solved our issues!
We use one of those rubber hose shower attachments in the bath. Makes it so much easier to control where the water goes, especially if you push the water back over their head as you go. And because you get good water pressure, it's all over really quickly.
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