Geez, don't you hate it when your 4 month old tries to "manipulate" you? Selfish little blighters! [sarcasm alert!!]
I used to get comments from very well-meaning friends/relatives/aquaintances ... He's using you as a dummy. He'll expect to be picked up everytime he cries. He'll never sleep on his own.
Just GRRRRRRR! Go away people.
Why have a baby if you want to keep them at arms length. I.just.don't.get.it.
We had to change our mum's group meetings to suit one mum who decided to become a follower. It used to make my boobs ache listening to her daughter cry as she sat on her lap and was firmly told that she wasn't due for a feed. It was too strict and seemed to cause the mum more anguish when her daughter didn't "perform" according to the rules of the book. She lent me her book but I just used it as a coaster for my morning coffee......
FWIW I used the Pinky routines as a guide - her book's not bad either and she often points out the differences between breast and bottle with regards to feeds! I just take everything I read or hear with a grain of salt and use the bits that work for me.
The best advice I read, and I can't remember where now, was to throw out the clock and to not become a clock watcher. It's easy if your bub is on the breast because you can tell, more or less, how long it's been since the last feed. The moment I stopped stressing that "OMG, I was only up 2 hours ago" to just going with the flow and watching his cues and listening to him, I became more relaxed and able to deal.
When people asked whether he was sleeping through, because they always feel they have to know (wtf?), I always made reference to how much I loved the middle of the night sleepy snuggles. I would also firmly state that it wasn't natural for a baby of that age to "sleep through" and, that I was quite happy to get out of bed for any of my children when they needed me, regardless of their age.
Sorry, it turned into a bit of an essay - which i can only blame on the hormones that I'm on at the moment (I think they're making me edgy) - I also didn't really answer your question.
It's hard to sit back and watch. So, if her other friends can loudly pronounce their views, why the heck can't you? You don't have to openly diss their ideas but you could just drop some ideas on what's worked for you
....which reading back to your original post is what you were asking.
I'd be inclined to PM her some articles that support Mums and Bubs (ie. not telling them that they are failing or broken because their baby/ies are not sleeping through). I found this to be a much less inflammatory way to go about it and let's the person read the info without it being shoved in their face and/or with the judgement of others ITMS.
Selfish little blighters! [sarcasm alert!!]
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