Help with 1month old sleep!

[Taurusa]

Hi all! I NEED SOME HELP!
Caleb will be 1 month old on wednesday and my DH and i are finding the nights increasingly hard. We would like to get some sorta sleep 'pattern' happening, but the only one that is happening at the moment is wake, scream, eat (bottle fed), fall asleep in our arms as feeding, and then cry when we try and put him down, then not settle again

He (of course) does sleep pretty well if in the bed next to me, but i am getting pretty tired from all his grizzling, gurgling, and other noises he makes at night.

Where can we begin?? any help is appreciated!

[Sammiejane]

Hey Taurusa,
Congratulations on your littke guy
Nots sure where you are, but if the cot or bassinet is cold when bubba goes down it will wake him... i found this with Molly jane, to remedy this, when she wakes i pop the wheat bag in the microwave, go and get her, grab the heat pack and put it in her cot then feed, burp change feed burp... by this time she is really sleepy (or already back to sleep), when i put her in the cot she doesn't notice a temperature change (she use to the heat from us) and continues sleeping... this might help.

It is early days and Caleb will still not have a 'pattern' yet, rather a 24 hr cycle. try not to despair, he will figure it out soon.

The other thing is to try some settling techniques, like double patting him (like a heat beat) and shush shushing in time with the pat... its a big scary world for him at the moment and the sounds are similar to what he would have heard in you and comfort him.

I hope this helps...
The child and maternal health nurse told us that the first 6 weeks are the worst... so you are nearly there - hang in there

ETA: make sure you remove the wheatbag from te cot... its purpose is to warm the bed, bubs could overheat if you leave it in there - i take it back to bed wit me

[KatieRabbit]

Taurusa- it all sounds completely normal! We have all experienced this and know what you are going through. I promise you that this doesn't last long but right now Caleb wants his mummy or daddy to hold him and comfort him in this big scary unfamiliar world. My DD did the exact same and I was completely puzzled as to why she would just wake and scream when I put her down but was fine minutes before. Caleb loves your arms and your breathing and your heartbeat and has been so warm and snug inside you- that is all he knows and he wants it to continue. It is a problem though when it goes through the night and you are exhausted- a prob for you, not him. The best thing to do is realise that it won't go on forever and you are doing a wonderful job comforting him in these early weeks. If you can get some sleep, let him sleep next to you for your sake and his. If not, pull the bassinette up right next to your bed or the cot net to you will the side down (right up against your bed) so he is in arms length. Is he wrapped in a wrap? Does he have a dummy? Is he fed every 2 to 3 hours? And winded? when he does sleep during the day, you get back into bed yourself. Stay in your pjs all day (a shower will lift your spirit), leave the housework and don't go places you don't need to just yet. Some good advice I got from a nurse was to spend part of the baby bonus on a lactationconsultant, takeaway meals and getting some paid help with the housework. It's what it's for so use it. caleb willl be like this for a few more weeks yet so it is best that you get some 'managing' strategies going like I suggested above. Have you got family help, in laws, friends who can come over to hold Caleb while you sleep for an hour, cook a meal or do the washing up? Call on people- they won't mind and will like feeling useful. But do hold your little one and feed him whenever he wants- the breast is a great comfort. Make sure he is full up before you put him down asleep. But suckling is great too for him. This time will be over in a flash and he will thrive in your arms. But look after yourself too!