Help! 2yr with a little attitude *a little long*

[paradise lost]

Good on you for following through! I know how hard it is when you think of how them being disciplined will affect your day too (like the possibility of me having to carry DD home, which i would have if she'd genuinely not been able to make it herself).

I'm not sure i'd give them back for good behaviour, in case it confuses the issue, kwim? Like is it about generally being naughty or not putting your toys away? Will he know they got taken away because he didn't tidy them, and if he does will it make sense that he has to be good to get them back? I think i'd just keep it really simple - don't tidy toys = don't get toys tomorrow. No complicating rules or factors, just that.

Not sure i'd mix it up at this stage, though you COULD implement a rule that anything he tidies up he gets tomorrow, so if he only puts one toy and one teddy away that's all there is tomorrow. That way how much effort he puts in DIRECTLY affects how many toys he has. Also did you tell him today that you would take them away for a day? If you told him and then you do it that teaches "mummy means what she says" but if you didn't warn him it might teach "mummy can be unpredictable"...?

Bx

[KatieRabbit]

I think it is a big task for a 2 year old! They learn by imitation and I think it is a bit much to expect a 2yr old to be responsible and clean up his toys. He does not understand cause/effect and actions and consequences. So taking his toys away the next day or even a few hours later is not going to 'teach' him anything- he won't even know why he doesn't have his toys anymore or why mummy has put them somewhere and he is in his cot. His actions (not reacting, shrugging shoulders, not caring) is proof of this. If he was 4 and wouldn't help, that would be different, but he is 2!! You are punishing him for something that he doesn't know is wrong. (If not putting toys away is considered 'wrong'!).

[Charlyfrog]

I think I might have to disagree with that one Deidre I come from the angle that train now and reap the rewards later I think we tend to not give little ones enough credit! I think it is completely possible for a 2yr old to be trained in the concepts of cause and effect and imo it is a necessary thing to avoid a bigger, potentially more frustrating training ground in the future. Why not mould them now when they are a tad more pliable if that makes sense and then just deal with the normal growing up stages of toddler life as they come, knowing full well that a solid foundation has already been installed??

In this instance I think it might be more useful to overlook whether the putting of toys away is right or wrong and consider that it is another training moment for a child to learn routine, obedience, tidyness and respect for toys and instructions. Again, why not take the opportunity now rather than having to retrain unwanted habits in the years to come?

Anywhos, just my opinion.....

[morgan78]

I was going to say something very similar charlyfrog
I believe if he is capable of opening drawers/boxes etc and pulling everything out and making the mess then he is able to put it back - with guidance.
I am thinking that this is more a boundary pushing issue more than anything as it is only in the last couple of weeks we have had problems and also he has been playing with the same toys over & over so boredom is probably kicking in a bit.
I have removed the *offending* toys and yesterday he played with toys from his room that haven't seen the light of day for ages and np with tidying up.
But a huge thank you to everyone for their input it has all been appreciated.

[*Efjay*]

2 yr olds know... thats why they are pushing the limits in the first place.

I have a 3 yr old & 5 yr old & they are made to pick up 10 toys each. They make a game of counting them as they go. Maybe you could try something like that.
Ask him if he would like to play a counting game with you when its time to pack up. You pick up 5 & he picks up 5 counting as you go. Make it fun to tidy up.