This is SUCH a hard stage. I think the biggest comfort I can give you is that its just that- a phase. DS was EXACTLY the same regarding his dummy. We went through a phase between 4 to probably 6.5 months where the number of times we had to get up at night to get the dummy just got more and more and more.
But I do have hope for you! I had to make a decision at about the same point you were at whether I wanted to keep the dummy or not. Lots of people said to get rid of it, but I didn't really want to do that. So during the day I kept his dummy on one of those chain things and whenever he wanted it, I would hand him it, not put it in his mouth. Over time he got the hang of putting it in himself. I would keep the chain on at night (as long as its less than 10cm long its safe) so he could find it. The other thing we did (and still do) is to put like 6 dummies in the cot. We call it the "rain of dummies". I also put an air-wrap around the cot so they didn't fall out of the cot. So he can always find one now! I've also heard of people tying dummies to the corners of those fluffy soft blankie things if your LO has one so they can find the dummie easily.
I think if you want to hang on to the dummy, getting your child to find it themself is the key, and that's a matter of time and practice. Give him heaps of opportunities to practice during the day, as much as you can! But in truth, I don't think DS was ready for that at 4.5 months- closer to 6 months. My choice was just to slog through the night dummy wakings until he was old enough to get it himself.
Now he gets into bed and find a dummy and then sucks on it for like 3 seconds, then spits it out and tries another one until he's gone through them all!!
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