Mzqtie, thanks hun, but tbh, that sort of thing is just too emotionally taxing on me right now. I am waaayyy too exhausted to try anything that would need fortitude, persistence and strength, itms? I'm not hard on him at all. I have to do alot of the bed time stuff on my own because DH works nights sometimes, and his days are all unpredictable from week to week, so there's not that consistency either. DH have put a limit on the night time fiasco, he has 5 weeks off at the end of October. So if we haven't been able to get things sorted by then then we are going cold turkey. But he will be home to help and I'm hoping DS2 will not still be bfeeding 2hrly! Either way I do really know what's going wrong, and what I need to 'fix' but I'm just not in the right space to do it alone right now.

i completely understand where your coming from, my DF works night shift every 5 weeks too and does for about a month and also starts at all different times
its very hard on your own to get things done especially in a certain time frame more so when its just that time of night and things dont go right

i really hope you and olive find the right thing soon to help lots of from me as i guess ive had it pretty easy from DS1 when its bed time

my ideas are just ideas ive done over the last 3yrs with my DS1 and the course