HELP ME! 10 week old won't sleep....

[LaDeeDa]

For the last week DS has been waking every 1-1.5 hours overnight - before this it was only 2-3 times per night.

I originally thought he was waking because he was hungry - but last night he didn't drink - was just using it as comfort.

He will wake up crying with his eyes still closed and will kick and punch when you try and settle him.
The only way I could last night was to lay him on my chest and stay there - he won't even sleep curled up on my arm like he normally will.....

Today he has pretty much zero interest in booby and has only slept for 45 mins for the entire day.

He won't take a dummy and I am out of ideas on what I should be doing.....

HELP

[Ginger]

dee, i find that at this age, sleep creates sleep. in other words, the more ds2 sleeps in the day, the better he sleeps at night.i therefore, do everything i can to encourage sleep during the day, and this in turn, makes him sleep better at night itms? ....so....i basically do whatever it takes to create sleep- including: hab, feeding to sleep, walking in pram, driving in car, rocking in rocking chair, cradle swing...whatever it takes!

[LaDeeDa]

Rainy I've tried all that - not even the HAB will send him off

I know that sleep begets more sleep.... would someone like to explain that to DF he seems to think that keeping him up all day will make him sleep more

[Ginger]

i find it's the exact opposite. atm, ds2 can only be awake for about 1.5 hours absolute maximum before he needs a sleep again. if he was awake for the whole day he would be beside himself and i'd never get him to sleep tonight.
if i were you, i'd chuck him in the hab and go for a brisk walk around the block, really stride it out...eventually it'll work.

[OceanPrincess]

Hi Dee

I so feel your pain. DD went through the exact same thing when she was about 10 weeks. Though - she would go back to sleep when I fed her, so perhaps not as bad as you've got it currently!!

Have you checked that he is warm enough? I think that's what it was with DD, she was pulling herself out of the wrapping and getting cold. We put her in a sleeping bag about a week ago and she has been sleeping for longer stretches since then.

Otherwise, might be worth a trip to the GP or Paed - esp if he is off his feeds today. Could be he is a bit sick? How have his nappies been? Plenty of wet and pooey ones?

Big hugs I know how it feels - I was almost more tired around 10 weeks than I was after giving birth, lol.

[Heaven]

OMG Dee. Now I feel bad for being so frustrated today. My DD will not sleep in her bassinette for more than 30mins in the day!! It is driving me bonkers. She will sleep in the HAB up to 2hrs, sometimes more. I feel like I will be carrying her around for the rest of her life. Today I tried to go without the HAB so she has slept for 1.5hrs all day (3 sleeps). But that's better than 45mins

Is it wind pain or something waking him up??

[LaDeeDa]

Hi Girls...

Plenty of wet nappies - I think the problem is he has so many "snacks" I can't get a decent feed into him so I am just constantly topping him up.

I am pretty sure he is ok temp wise - in his sleeping bag and the house is pretty toasty.

I don't know..... he just went down 5 mins ago and now he is awake again...

[OceanPrincess]

i find it's the exact opposite. atm, ds2 can only be awake for about 1.5 hours absolute maximum before he needs a sleep again. if he was awake for the whole day he would be beside himself and i'd never get him to sleep tonight.
if i were you, i'd chuck him in the hab and go for a brisk walk around the block, really stride it out...eventually it'll work.

Totally agree with Rainforest here too.

In one of the sleep and settling classes I went to, the woman showed us how a brisk walk can settle baby - because that's what they were used to in the womb. Not a gentle rock, rock, but a brisk walk and a firm hold - like the HAB.

ETA - sometimes I don't even get 1.5hrs out of DD, sometimes she only last half an hour before she is yawning again!

[OceanPrincess]

Hi Girls...

Plenty of wet nappies - I think the problem is he has so many "snacks" I can't get a decent feed into him so I am just constantly topping him up.

Hmm, then can you try to settle using other methods to stretch it out until it has been a good two hours between feeds?

When I told the baby chiro that I was feeding DD overnight hourly or hour and a half-ly (lol) he said that she is not physiologically hungry at that point and that I should try other settling methods. But he said its up to me, whatever works best for us.

[Jellyfish]

I also find the car a good way to get DD to sleep when she is really unsettled during the day. I usually try rocking/singing but if after a few hours things aren't working I jump in the car because once she gets overtired, it becomes near impossible to get her to sleep. The movement, white noise and music sends her to sleep pretty quickly but I know some babies simply hate the car.

I also found the brisk walking more effective then slow, gentle rocking. I remember I was rocking slowly with DD for what seemed like hours and then I thought maybe she was cold so walked with her quickly to the bedroom to get her sleeping bag but by the time I got there she had fallen asleep!!

[Heaven]

How was last night Dee?
Not so good here but I'm hoping yours was better!!
I thought the bad time was at 12 weeks. Hmm.....maybe we are getting it early at 10wks. Lets hope it's not bad again in another couple of weeks!! OMG.

[LaDeeDa]

Hey Sara....
Last night wasn't as bad - only one crying episode but about 4 feeds....

He slept from 7am - 9.30am though so that was a nice block of sleep for me.

I hope things get better for you too..... I didn't realise it's mean't to get worse at 12 weeks - here's hoping we're just getting it early

[Arcadia]

Uh, oh! Its the dreaded 10 week "I don't wanna sleep" thing!

Seriously someone should write something on this because ALL the women in my mothers group experienced this. It must be developmental, because DD did EXACTLY the same thing!

I am happy to say it does seem to pass, but you may find yourself with a very smart bub all of a sudden who only wants to settle on the boob (or in the sling or the car etc). If you're interested in teaching self settling, now would be the time, because they learn so quickly at this age.

Good luck with it. Its SO tiring hey????

[LaDeeDa]

but you may find yourself with a very smart bub all of a sudden who only wants to settle on the boob (or in the sling or the car etc).

LOL too late!!! Booby monster in this house - that only started a week or so ago but no booby no sleep!!!

[Arcadia]

Hehehehe...yeah I think that's what happens at 10 weeks - they suddenly learn sleep associations. Oh well, if you're happy to feed to sleep then keep doing what you're doing. For me, the waking increased to hourly overnight for a couple of nights in a row and I just couldn't take it. So from about 12 weeks I started teaching self settling. It has changed our lives dramatically.

Try not to stress about sleep too much. Bub will get through this phase and sleep better (eventually) regardless of whether you change or not, but if you want to change its nice to know babies are VERY adaptable with a little persistance!

[Shanti]

Hehehehe...yeah I think that's what happens at 10 weeks - they suddenly learn sleep associations. Oh well, if you're happy to feed to sleep then keep doing what you're doing. For me, the waking increased to hourly overnight for a couple of nights in a row and I just couldn't take it. So from about 12 weeks I started teaching self settling. It has changed our lives dramatically.

Try not to stress about sleep too much. Bub will get through this phase and sleep better (eventually) regardless of whether you change or not, but if you want to change its nice to know babies are VERY adaptable with a little persistance!

Anna - where did you get your info re: self settling? I am trying to teach DD to self settle and have been for a few weeks now but some days it doesn't seem to work I remember you helped Ella bear recently.... in her thread.... i need to go find it!!!!!
Sometimes DD self settles, depends on her mood

La Dee Da - ikwym.... my DD is exactly the same... I'm lucky if I get DD to sleep longer than 20mins per sleep during the day like today she only slept in 20min intervals, 3 sleeps. Arrrggh! I wonder how she survives cos i barely am!!!!

[LaDeeDa]

Renstar --- I feel your pain babe xoxoxox
It'll get better....

I would also like to know how to self settle because the way the MCHN told me seems a bit mean

[Arcadia]

Ok, so the first thing is to REALLY decide you want to do this. I ummed and ahhed over it for ages, until finally I was loosing it and had to something for my sanity.

Its perfectly normal to feed/rock/pat bub to sleep...and if you feel good, then keep doing it. But if you want to change then I recommend going with this approach, because its less harsh than the MCHN version.

You have to remember though, there will be some crying. I do not believe there is a no-cry solution to teaching self settling. The difference is knowing what the cry means. The "I don't want to sleep" cry should stop and start and be less intense (and without tears often). The "I'm distressed" cry is constant and you will WANT to pick your baby up. ALWAYS PICK UP A DISTRESSED BABY!!!!

I suppose the only other thing to remember is, the baby is crying because you are doing something new and they don't understand what is going on. If they didn't cry when you put them in the cot, then you wouldn't be seeking solutions to a sleeping problem.

So, what I did was...

Step 1 (for about 3 days and for those bubs that feed to sleep): STOP feeding to sleep, and try rocking, patting etc. I swapped the feeds to the start of the cycle, so a feed, play, sleep cycle.

Step 2: Experiment with ways of settling bub while in the cot. This is to help with step 6, so take it easy and try a few different ways. You may need to rock bub until drowsy and then finish the rest off in the cot. I found that by holding her hand and putting my cheek to hers and humming in her ear, she stopped crying. I recommend doing this until you have a real solution to stopping bub from crying while in the cot (try rocking the whole frame, singing, stroking...anything to stop them from crying).

Step 3. Decide on what day you will teach self settling and start putting bub in the cot to sleep ALL THE TIME. So stop the sling/pram/car tricks and concentrate on the cot. You may need to stay home a bit more, but don't stress if you have to go out. Aim for at least 2 sleeps in the cot per day.

Step 4: Start putting bub to bed in the cot when she shows tired signs. For us, this is total disengagement. I ignore yawns and basically say if she is too tired to smile or make eye contact it is time for bed (you will find they almost WANT to go to bed if you get the timing right)

Step 5: Have a pre-bed routine. For us this is a wrap/sleeping bag, sign a song, have a cuddle and straight in the cot. now she knows the signs and will grizzle when I start to sing, but is prepared for what happens next.

Step 6: The hard bit. Walk away for 30 seconds. If bub is quiet or grizzling (and they won't be for at least a week), then you're home and hosed. On the first time though, bub will probably protest LOUDLY, so come into the room quietly and start comforting them with your technique. You will stay in the room now until they're asleep.
You comfort them only until the crying eases off a bit. Then stop and count to 20 or 30. Then start comforting until the crying eases, then stop for 30 seconds. Its a real stop then start approach. The idea is you help bub calm themselves, but they not relying on you to settle them.

Repeat this until bub stops crying themselves. The first 24 hours or so, you will find the crying seems to peak and then eases off. I would literally comfort until she quietened and then block my ears and count to 20 or 30 before comforting again.

The first time took 20 mins, and for the first 48 hours or so there was a fair bit of crying. BUT she got the idea very quickly and within a week I could put her down with only a bit of a grizzle. After the first time, it should take less than 20 minutes to settle bub. If there is no change after 20 minutes, get bub up and assume you have misread the tired signs. In fact that is the hardest part to begin with...knowing when bub is actually ready for bed.

If at any time bub is too distressed, or you are, stop and give them a cuddle or quick (I mean 30 second) breastfeed to calm them down. Otherwise get them back up and try again when you see tired signs.

I never bothered with the re-settle idea. Once bub can self settle, you will find they will learn to resettle too (meaning when they're awake, just get them up and worry about the next sleep after the next feed etc).

Step 7: BE CONSISTENT! Babies learn from repetition and consistency, so you have to keep at it if you want it to work. Don't worry if you have to leave the house etc, but when you are home, use the cot and the technique.

Step 8: Be kind to yourself. You baby loves you and needs you to teach them basically everything about life, including sleep. They will be more alert and happier when they're sleeping better. They won't love you any less if you teach them self settling.

So..that's it. You will notice a difference in the amount of crying very quickly, and within a week you should be able to put bub down with some grizzling only (or nothing, which often happens here). We still have days where bub won't go down easily, so I abandon the cot and take her for a walk instead. I find bub will self settle and resettle 80% of the time though.

Sorry for the essay! HTH