HELP! Sleep issues

[jackrose]

Hi Powelly,

He is at that age!!! it seems the forums are often full of mothers loosing their mind with babies at that 8-10month age where there sleep patterns begin to develop a problem. I was one of them, went from having a beautiful sleeper to a terror sleeper and I completely lost it. It was a hellish 5 months for me.

I really think that from what you have said in your post that you are doing exactly the right thing. My impression with 8-10month olds are really going through a lot, they are beginning to move around a lot, beginning to become acutely aware of their environment, have a developing mastery over their bodies and therefore their physical environment and are often cutting some teeth. All of this disrupts their sleep and problems can really develop when they loose their ability to settle themselves back to sleep and end up relying on you for this.

This was a real problem for me with my DD who developed a breast attachement with sleep. She began to need my breast in her mouth to settle off to sleep and this meant that she would wake up to every 30-40minutes looking for the breast. I think u are right to be concerned about your DS developing an attachment to walking and the pram and you are very wise to try to find another answer. I wish I had been so switched on with my DD!!!

I have to keep going in and putting him back down and he just stands back up again.

This sounds like the perfect thing to do. If you calmly keep putting him back down, make sure you don't make a big deal of it, no eye contact, just a calm voice saying shhhh, sleepy time, or something else that works for you, a pat on the back until he is calm and settled again but not necessarily asleep then back out again. I know that staying calm is easier said than done though. I remember. These kids are pretty smart and pretty soon he will realise there is no point in getting up again as it always ends in the same thing. My DD pretty quickly worked out the system and would stand up and complain but then put herself down as I walked into the room. I would just pat her back till she calmed down, then walk out again. Sometimes I needed to repeat for an hour or so, BUT slowly but surely the time it took was less and less. It worked for us and a few other people I know.... and your DS is at the perfect age for it to work for him.

I'm getting so angry at him and have to keep taking 5 to deep breath as the whinging is really getting to me.

5 deep breaths is a great approach, try not to let him sense your frustration (I know easier said than done again). I tried to approach it calmly with the faith that it would work. I'd make myself a cup of tea, switch on the net to distract myself and keep going back in every few minutes. If DD got too worked up I would stay in the room for longer but mostly it was just the whinging.

Is it sep anxiety?

You know, it could also be this, but the approach you are taking will let him know in a safe way that you are there for him.

All the best, I will be thinking of you as I remember all too well how intense it is when their sleep patterns go haywire at this stage when it all should be going so well!


ETA : just thought of another approach, someone I asked for advice advocated sitting in the room with my DD as she went off to sleep and moving my chair closer to the door at each sleep time until I was out the door, ie slowly weaning her off having me there. This didn't work for us, if I was in the room she would just scream at me to get her out of the cot! It may work for you though, particularly if your DS's issue is separation anxiety.