Horrifed and in tears ~ family drive off holding a 4/5month old baby, no car seat

[Butterfly Child]

that is just wrong! it makes me so angry that their a people like this that put their kids in such danger!!

[Heaven]

wtf is wrong with people

[Cassius2]

i reckon alot of it has to do with the mantra: 'it won't happen to me because...'. i remember having a huge fight with my cousin about his excessive speeding and his justification is: 'but i am always in control'. to which i reply: 'yeah until you're not'.

imo it comes from massive doses of ignorance. not necessarily malacious. i remember seeing a mum with her maybe 11-12 month old baby and seriously, they looked the picture of happiness, giggling baby, happy mum. then she pops him in the front seat and put the seatbelt on...no carseat and drives off...i was flabbergasted!

[Rowellen]

That's just wrong. You did the right thing. I hope the police caught them. Hopefully they have learnt their lesson and now have a car seat for their baby.

ETA: I missed the bit about the plates not matching Not much hope for that poor kid then if they ever have an accident. Here's hoping they don't for the kid's sake.

[Bathsheba]

The no car-seat thing is just wrong!

There really are some feral people out there. I try to think of Bath's "keyhole judging" and keep it in mind when I hear about this sort of stuff, mum might have been having a really bad day - I know I've asked my DD why "you wont just effing sleep?!" at the height of sleep deprivation - so I try to give the benefit of the doubt but you just know when its a bad moment from a generally nice mum or a parenting style whose other dead giveaway is coke / fanta in the baby bottle and swearing at toddlers because they are acting like..well...toddlers.

My heart breaks for the kids and you just know that their chances in life are not great.

There is also a place for intuition even if you are aware you shouldn't key-hole judge The trick is to keep head and heart in balance until and if you want to get to the bottom of it. I suspect, in that situation (calling a little baby a B**** in public) I would have probably intuited that something was very wrong and that the mum wasn't just having a bad day. I probably would have assessed the mum as having a mental illness and/or that the mother had severe issues and that the child was at risk... pretty much as you did. It is so just very sad Mind you I would love to be proved wrong and know that the child was safe afterall and that the mother's behaviour was due to a brain tumour (often results in uncharacteristic swearing) or something like that! Ever optimistic me!

Well done Beema for being observant! That was interesting that the plates didn't match the car. I suspect those people are going to be closely watched by the law from now on! Let's hope so!

[Cherished]

I feel like crying too You did the right thing taking down their plates and calling he police.

[SammyRo]

imo it comes from massive doses of ignorance. not necessarily malacious.

I agree with this - alot of the time its just down to ignorance - its what they see at home, or what they grew up with, or what they've been told by people close to them, and so they think its normal - its like the babies you see at food courts who must be younger than 12months and are happily being given macca's. I remember talking to a CYHN about our different experiences working in a similar area - she was talking to a family, discussing nutrition and asked if the toddler was eating family meals now - the reply was along the lines of 'yep, they have the cheeseburger as well as the fries now'!

[C~Q]

Wow, so sad and I agree it is ignorance. IMy Mum made a coomment to me years ago about holding Ds then 1 or 2 on my lap and when I said no she said "well we just used to put your basinette on the back seat and the car didn't even HAVE seatbelts in the back" um...that doesn't make it ok Mum

[Pandora]

My Mum made a coomment to me years ago about holding Ds then 1 or 2 on my lap and when I said no she said "well we just used to put your basinette on the back seat and the car didn't even HAVE seatbelts in the back" um...that doesn't make it ok Mum

My mum says that to me every time she asks when Im going to turn DS' rear facing seat around (because hes bored and letting him look around must be the most important thing?)
I normally say something along the lines of 'and lots more babies died back then in car accidents than do now'

[Miss.September]

This makes me so mad!!!!

We have these precious babies and we have to keep them safe from the world. Who will keep them safe if the parents don't care. Pleading ignorance is fine, but these laws have been in for a long time. If you're of the age to have a baby now, then you've certainly gotten a driver's licence since these laws have been made. I hate the whole attitude of "We'll be fine, we won't be in an accident". Oh, so you can count on the other thousands of drivers paying attention can you? Grrrrrrrrr. I'm so glad you called the police, and I hope they throw the book at them if they are caught. There is no excuse for this.

It's the same attitude many parents have about dogs. I know a woman who has a one year old, who leaves her baby unattended with her dogs in the house, believing they won't hurt the baby. I have dogs and I love them dearly, but I would never, ever trust them with my baby. What if bub pulls their tail? Can I guarantee they won't snap? No. Maybe it's because I've had a vicious dog that I'm super careful (not a big dog either, a spoodle, and unfortunately the only solution was to put him down at the age of 18 months old). I just don't understand how people can want these babies so much and them put them into potentially dangerous situations.

Corelly

[*Beema*]

My mum says that to me every time she asks when Im going to turn DS' rear facing seat around (because hes bored and letting him look around must be the most important thing?)
I normally say something along the lines of 'and lots more babies died back then in car accidents than do now'

DD is still rear facing As she is under teh 12 kg limit for the seat, I wish the limit was higher as she is over 11kg now, her feet rest up against she seat, but she is still significantly safer facing backwards than turning her around, and a mirror works wonders we have a large one for her and she can see us in it as well

[Rowellen]

I just don't understand how people can want these babies so much and them put them into potentially dangerous situations.

Corelly

Unfortunately not all babies are wanted and some parents just don't care or don't think. It's very sad especially for those LTTTC or even short term TTC.

[*TripleJ*]

i can say i did it once when DS was about a week old we were down that street walking and DH's mum offered us a lift as it was getting cold and i held him in the back seat it was only for 2 minutes but i felt horrible i never did it again and i never will

if i felt like that i cant believe they didnt it makes me sad

[Astrid]

Wow, so sad and I agree it is ignorance. IMy Mum made a coomment to me years ago about holding Ds then 1 or 2 on my lap and when I said no she said "well we just used to put your basinette on the back seat and the car didn't even HAVE seatbelts in the back" um...that doesn't make it ok Mum

My MIL is of the belief that if cars were still made tough like the old ones we would not need the expensive carseats. She obviously has no idea that the cars are meant to crumple around us to protect the occupants, unlike the old ones which stayed intact with minor accidents, but left occupants damaged.

[melbrodhi]

i was in the car overseas with my DH's family, going along the highway, mustve been doing at least 100. i had my DS in the car, he was strapped in safely. my neice was also in the car, she was only 1, and she hated being in the car and was wingeing, so my SIL takes her out of the car seat (while we are doing 100) and lets her climb all over the car so that she will stop wingeing!!!! OMG i was totally HORRIFIED!!!!

[Shanti]

omg those stories that you've all posted are just awful!!! why don't these ppl get it? they have these lives of these precious bubs in their hands ....

I'm so careful with driving and DD, I have her still in the reversed position (and plan to for a while yet....) as it's much safer than forward facing (I'd rather her break her leg than break her neck). AND I constantly check her straps are secured and tight across her chest!! I'm a little too paranoid but i'd like to think she has the best chance in case of an accident.

[MummyNaomi]

OUr CYH nurse told us about a newborn baby who sustained broken legs as his parents put him in a bouncer on the back seat as couldn't afford a carseat, they were new immigrants and thought they were doing the right thing. They were in a car accident and the baby was flung from the bouncer into the front window of the car, terribly upsetting and senseless..... I'm sure any of the local charities would have organised a car seat had they been aware of the need, but these people didn't know there are services out there to help......

..... sometimes its not all as it seems, while there are definately some parents who senselessly flout the laws with no regard for their precious babies safety, there are also some that out of circumstances (poverty), cant afford to do the right things, and learnt a very heartbreaking lesson.....

[Nai]

OMG I just saw a family pull up at the supermarket this afternoon with grandma holding the newborn in the back seat. I was driving past and couldn't go back as it was one way - I was so cross that I couldn't see the number plate Grrr!