How to discipline my todler *long*

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I really recommend the book Yes Please, Thanks! - it's fantastic about discipline. Without needing to smack for things you don't wish to smack for.

For example, you tell your child to help you tidy up. Not ask - if you ask, they can say no. "Will you do this?" is a request, "Please do this" is not. So you say "Please pick up your toy before you go out." Child makes for the door. You tell them again "You don't go out until you pick up your toy." Ignore the tantrum and go and get the child, put the toy in the hand, walk the child to the toybox and have them release the toy. Say "Thank you, now we can go out!" - but maybe not as enthusiastic a thank you as if she'd have done it on her own.

Let all hell break loose sometimes. There's nothing wrong with a cuddle and "This is the way things are, I know you want the TV but Mammy said no" every now and then. Be the boss. See your child as the adult you want her to be. Like a tree - bendable, prunable: do you want to bonsai her, stunt her emotional growth, because you let her remain a toddler because you don't say no? What would her boss do if, age 30, she chucked a tanty because she didn't want to do this job: it always worked before.

[Nadine216]

Ok I found that book of yours Kazbah, on the net for cheap. I will talk to DH about getting it for me end of the month.

Rosehip - I am actually trying to do just that, BUT she as an extreamly strong will and that does not always help .. she will just go limp and lay there and I'll talk and talk and talk ....

I'll definatly check that book out too. And it's not that I don't allow hell to break loose in my house, hell's a regular around here currently It's just that I'm getting really tired of repeating myself over and over and over again ... I just had a really bad day yesterday and I KNOW I can't let her get away with just getting what she wants, because life is not like that.
I just need some comfort in the fact that I'm not alone .. It's not just me struggeling to get through the TT's.

This morning she refused to greet Kathy, for some unexplained reson she just did not want to say hello. And to me that is rude, not greeting someone. So DH took her to her room (no smacking) and she cried a bit, called to him, he went and got her, explained that she can come out the room if she says hi to Kathy, she said yes, they walked to Kathy and DH nudged her to greet her, she refused, DH turned her around to go back to her room while telling her that she must go back until she decides to greet Kathy, she quickly turned around and apologised to Kathy and greeted her nicely. So this worked this morning ...

My problem is that she is not sleeping well and I keep telling DH she is like this because she is tired and if I have to be really honest with myself I don't believe me and I have to admit that she is spoiled

This mothering stuff is really hard, fun and awsome, but hard and confussing

[alioops]

Nadine we often do time out in a corner, because there are corners everywhere. I usually put her in the most boring corner in the house where I can keep an eye on her and make sure she stays there, plus if she acts up while we are out she can sit in a corner wherever we are. Usually it is when she refuses to sit in the corner that she gets a smack, and then she still has to sit there until I tell her she can get up.