I co-slept for 2 years with my first son and so far 11 weeks with my second. With both its been different.
My first would literally only sleep if he was held, by this i mean i lay on my side with my arms around him like a cuddle. I am a light sleeper and tend to stay in one place, i would wake up still holding him. He fed hourly too so neither of us fell in to a deep sleep really. Even up to 2 years he still needed to be held to sleep... he's in his own bed now, but myself or husband lay with him until he falls asleep.
With my second son, i just put him in the middle of the bed between my husband and i, but up between our pillows. So his legs come down to my shoulders sort of. Our pillows are about 30cm apart. The quilt goes up to his waist.
I think your instinct kicks in at some point, because at first i felt scared to co-sleep, but then i became so in tune with my first son, that i woke when he was "mouthing" for a feed before he even cried, and i think that comes from being so close together. I became to trust myself that i would instinctually never roll on him.
The kidsafe website has some great co-sleeping tips for safety.
Babies should NOT sleep in your bed if:
you are very heavy sleepers
you cover baby with a duvet (?doona) or baby is near pillows
you smoke, are drunk, or take illegal ("recreational") drugs
you are excessivly tired
baby should sleep at the edge of the bed, not between parents for risk of overheating
Having said that, DS snuggles in the middle of us, under the duvet, up with a pillow... although at first DH slept in another room so DS could sleep with me safely (his choice - he didn't want to be woken up, although we have co-slept three in a bed on occasion, particularly at my Mum's house). I did at first have DS under a sheet on top of my duvet but my arms got too cold so we snuggled up together under a very light duvet. DS was always in my arms so he couldn't move below the duvet or climb up to the pillows. He wasn't that wriggly either in the first year, which helped my decision.
Practicalities. Well, I started co-sleeping because I'd be falling asleep while feeding DS at night so figured I may as well do it as safely as possible. Took him a while to latch on lying down, but it was worth it. DS always started in a cot next to my bed and came into bed when he woke up. I think if he can raise his head with a blanket on it then he'll be fine with a duvet and pillow, especially as his head's above the duvet and I'm holding him next to me.
DS now likes to sleep alone unless he's teething. When he's teething, he likes my bed, but to lie right in the middle of it, horizontally, and kick. DH gets kicked so hard he's left the bed within ten minutes, but I just have to live with it if I want sleep. DS prefers to sleep alone mostly and if anything is wrong other than teething he screams blue murder if I try co-sleeping.
I don't like co-sleeping with a newborn.. just too nervous really.. coz of the pillows and doonas. We co-slept with DS from about 7 months.
We used an armsreach co-sleeper with DD from day 1, and I think it was fantastic. She was literally arms reach away.. to pat, replace dummy, or pick up for a feed. We've recently moved her to the big cot in our room, but at night she now co-sleeps with us. Inbetween us, between our pillows. She's in a light sleeping bag but is under our blankets up to her waist.
The armsreach is a great option if you're a bit nervous about co-sleeping with a newborn. I will add that we could use the armsreach so long because she slept wrapped for so long. Once they're mobile they shouldn't use it because they can crawl out onto the bed and off the bed! So you could possibly only get four or five months use out of it. But you probably will be comfortable with bub inbetween you by then anyway.
Oh, we also got the arms reach because DS was still coming in through the night and climbing between us, and I didn't want him to clamber in on top of her. heh.
I didn't co-sleep from day dot - probably 4mths onwards, but with the next one I'll probably start earlier. I wore a cardigan to bed in the cold as I had the covers below my chest - DS slept at boob height on top of the covers in his sleeping bag on whichever side he'd fallen asleep feeding from - I have a bedrail on my side so he doesn't fall out.
I want a king size bed so there's spread out room for everyone!
I co-slept the first 4-6 or so months. XP and i split up when she was 8 weeks old so he left the bed then, but it wasn't because of her presence there!!!
He wouldn't let me have her between us. I co-slept because i found having to get up out of bed every time she needed a feed was exhausting and he wasn't willing to help out with that at all. So i slept on the left hand side of the bed. I lay on my left side with my left arm high, stretched out from the shoulder, and my knees pulled up, so from above i was kind of a G-shape, with DD nestled inside. I used my right hand to stroke/cuddle her. I had a pillow or a rolled up towel between her and the edge of the bed, but she was always nestled close - it never "saved" her from a fall or anything. I had a duvet. In the early days (first 2-3 months) i would wrap the duvet over myself just below boob level, and tuck it under me. It was April when she was born and a long-sleeved T-shirt was always fine on chillier nights to keep my top half warm - she was wrapped in a shawl i knitted for her during pregnancy, she slept in that for many months. When she was older i was a bit more free and easy about the whole arrangement because by then i'd realised how in tune to my baby i was. By the time she was 3 months old i didn't even need to wake up properly to feed her, just roll a bit towards (right boob) or away (left boob) from her. I think if i'd been smaller breasted i'd have been able to do that from a lot earlier.
I am traditionally a heavy sleeper but i NEVER EVER slept heavily with her in the bed. I slept better with her there than not too, because waking from a deep sleep 4+ times a night was torture compared to sleeping more lightly but *just barely* waking up to feed her.
I moved DD out of my bed when i got together with DP because i didn't think it appropriate a) for them to spend time together until i was sure we were going to be a long-term thing, and b) that she co-slept with a guy who wasn't her father when we'd only been together a short time.
Because of our lifestyle (he works long hours) we really are the couple who mainly have sex in bed and for that reason i wouldn't co-sleep with a toddler as things stand - we need our alone-time in bed, but i'd definitely co-sleep with my infants. BUT we've been together more than 2 years now, are buying a house soon, and our priority with buying a bed is size, so that our infants can co-sleep and the kids of ANY age can get in with us of a Sunday morning and have a cuddle-up and a chat.
Sorry to hijack but just wanted to comment. I'm really interested to hear other mothers' co-sleeping arrangements. I have "co-slept" or what I refer to as co-slept with my DD but my definition and what co-sleeping is referred to as seem to be different. I won't say how I "co-sleep" as I don't want to get yelled at if it's completely the wrong way to do it, but it's worked fine for me. I'm still interested to hear how other mum's co-sleep e.g. where they put bubba etc..
I was against the idea while PG but after reading that co-sleeping can help the baby to regulate their breathing, as they mimic their mothers' breathing, I felt alot better. I do not "co-sleep" every night with my DD, only the nights she has been unsettled and to date that is about 4 or 5 full nights together and about 10 "naps" of a few hours in the early morning.
Just remembered that in the early days when my let-down was so forceful that she was choking on the first bit of a feed i used to sleep with her on her tummy on my tummy so she'd be feeding "uphill" as it were. It helped a lot with her feeds. In those times i usually wrapped her shawl over both of us or tucked the duvet over her hips.
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