Bel, it is a really tricky one. Whilst Olivia is only 2, we have similar issues with her, in as much as verbally she is really ahead of the game, and understands complex thinking, and is independant. 99% of the time she is happy, independant & experimenting in the world, and I fear I treat her like a bright 7 year old.

However, with regard to bed, and regressing to baby like behaviours, I think this is REALLY common when a new baby appears on the scene....9either literaly, or when Mum falls pregant again, or when the baby turns a certain milestone. For instance, Olivia didn't regress at all until recently when Charlie started crawling.....)

I am not sure what the solution is, only that FionaJull has offered good ideas, through talking & asking and showing....

Olivia has recently started to ask to be "cuddled like a baby" at bedtime, which freaked me out at first, as she had been totally happy to climb into bed without any pat pat rock rock etc. So now I ask her "Do you want big cuddles or to climb into bed?" The conversation seems to diffuse her insecurity, IYKWIM? (Note, I really don't mind cuddling her at all, & am more happy to do it, but like you I am a bit confused as to why all of a sudden she appears to feel insecure?!)

Anyway, not sure I have helped at all, but I guess with this issue, as with all things parenting, my advice would be to follow their lead, decide what you want the result to be, then gently encourage it for them and with them............