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Thread: How much harder is 2 than 1?

  1. #1

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    Mar 2008
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    Default How much harder is 2 than 1?

    I am really undecided whether I want a second child or not, for a whole lot of reasons I won't go into. But one of them is about wondering how much more difficult having two kids is than having one.



    On one hand, some people say that the biggest change is having your first child and once you're looking after one, you might as well look after another one. And then other people say that two is more than double the work. And then I have friend who's eldest daughter has gone a bit feral since she had her second baby, she's just not adjusting to the change.

    I am just interested in others experiences- thanks!!

  2. #2

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    I had 2 in 13 mths and wouldn't have had it any other way(except to not have them c/s so I could have had another straight away) It was a bit more work but not double. They are great friends now and keep each other occupied.
    JMO it's a huge decission.

  3. #3

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    Yup its hard work. The hardest thing that I found, was trying to keep the toddler quiet when trying to put the baby down for a nap. Luckily, I have a pretty easy baby who self settles, so it doesn't happen often. But that is the most frustrating part, trying to keep him from jumping over us and screaming/screeching like a little maniac whilst trying to get her to sleep.

    As for the washing etc in terms of hard work - I haven't noticed really any huge excessive amount of washing - and I have two in cloth full time too.

    Another hard thing is negotiating going out - I don't like to go out on my own with both kids, but only cos my toddler likes to be held, and its hard to hold both of them at once.

  4. #4

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    yep what Mel said.
    I have nearly three years between my two (not by choice but worked well).
    Darcy is the greatest help with Nate, and understands a lot - but also understands that she's coming second a fair bit, just not why. Hanece why I don't get much time on here.

    Looking after them itself isn't really harder - you already know how to look after babies.

    She did regress a little bit, but not to the point of 'feral'.

    I never really knew if I wanted a second either, but if you really want DS to have a sibling or you really want another baby - you will manage.

  5. #5

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    I find that you need a bit more organisation in your life but I dont necessarily find it HARD.
    My DD was almost3.5 yrs when DS was born & she is a great help, especially when I want to do housework & she will entertain him for me.
    I highly recommend having a second

  6. #6

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    I honestly didn't notice much of a change in the amount of work I had to do when we had #2. We only had a 20mth gap so I was already in the groove of doing the baby thing and once the initial newborn-getting-to-know-you was over by about the 6-8w mark life was great. My second was quite a demanding baby so it did make the juggling act a bit trickier at the busiest times of day - breakfast and tea time) but over all the experience was a good one. It wont matter what age gap you have, there will always be the initial tough few weeks but as for housework etc it was fine.

  7. #7

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    For us, it's been a really smooth transition. Emily is a very easy baby and we hardly notice she's there.
    But routine and organisation is the key. Both DH & I work full time, so it is very hard at times.
    You'll always speak to people who find it difficult, and others that don't. You've just got to do what is right for you guys.

  8. #8

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    To be totally honest i've found adjusting to two really hard. Having said that i do have very full on boys who each require alot of attention and energy. My two are 2years apart and in hiensight i think i should have probably waited until ds1 was around 3 to fall pregnant again. DS1 is 3 in August and although he is getting better at entertaining himself and independent play he still demands a lot of my time.

    I agree with Arimeh on the whole trying to get the baby down with a screaming toddler thing..this has probably been the hardest adjustment to two, DS2 is a terrible sleeper and very hard to settle so it doesn't help when DS1 is screeching around when i'm trying to get DS2 to sleep...mind you their bedrooms are right next to each other which is a nightmare because DS2's screeching goes straight through the wall.

    I guess i thought i was prepared for DS2 but it wasn't until he arrived and i got a taste of just how full on day to day life is that i went oh [email protected] this is harder than i thought! Getting out of the house is a challenge, when i only had ds1 we went out to the park or shopping or whatever every day but now its more of a challenge because we have to plan things between DS2's sleeps..some mums have bubs that sleep anywhere so if you're blessed with one of those then i guess shopping wouldn't be so hard..we on the other hand have been blessed with very alert little munchkins who will only sleep in their own bed/cot.

    I don't mean to be a downer, don't get me wrong having two gorgeous boys is a miracle and i loooove them too peices but i reckon having 2 kids is a whole different kettel of fish than having 1. But then i love seeing them playing together and watching their special bond grow so the extra work is definitely worth it

  9. #9

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    It can be hard in some aspects, like being up at night with your newborn then having to run after toddler all day who doesn't nap, very tiring. Or when both need you at once, like in the mornings when they wake at same time and DD2 needs a feed and DD1 is waiting to get dressed and be given breakfast.
    Getting out with both- the best thing I found was the hugabub cause DD2 sleeps so well in it while I take DD1 to her activities.
    We have been lucky with the fact DD1 has adjusted so well to there being a baby in the house, she loves to help out that sort of thing. It is hard tho trying to settle newborn to sleep while you have a toddler runnign around noisily and wanting to see baby all the time.
    I won't lie it can be quite hard some days so I just take one day at a time, it helps that I have a helpful Df. I'm sure once DD2 starts sleeping longer at night and settling better in the day things will get easier for us. Its hard to say how hard each persons situation will be too many factors depending on it, you might find it a breeze. Luck of the draw I think on what your new baby is like and how your child reacts to him/ her.

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