How to promote independency in a 8 month old?

[Neenee Jellybeanie]

To be honest, I think that 8 months is a bit young to be thinking about seperating bub from you. It's a survival instinct for babies to cling to their mothers, it's natural, normal, and healthy. Have you thought about a sling or baby carrier for her? Or perhaps you could put her in a pram and have her next to you - that's what I used to do with my daughter. She'd still whinge soon enough but I could comfort her and give her toys to play with while she sat there with me just next to her. Once she becomes more mobile, she'll start seperating herself to go and explore anyway. Until then I think all you can really do is wait it out, as annoying as that is!

[Carmen2]

I've been doing things in her sight, talking to her, singing to her, and putting plenty of toys on the floor for her to amuse herself with. So far, she would sit for a bit by herself for about 10 minutes. When she's tired of it, she demands to be held. Now, she's got a new thing... she wants me to hold her two hands so she could walk with me. I could only do this for so many minutes as it's killing my back to bend. She's not fond with her bouncer now. She used to love it but I think she's grown tired of it.

I am a little reluctant to put her in the highchair as she relates it to food which she's not quite fond of these days. I guess by putting her in the highchair, she'll even hate it more when it comes to meal time.

Do anyone have any good suggestion for a good baby sling. I've got one by Eddie Bauer with the back support, but it's killing my shoulders with those two straps.

[Jac]

I am a little reluctant to put her in the highchair as she relates it to food which she's not quite fond of these days. I guess by putting her in the highchair, she'll even hate it more when it comes to meal time.

On ocassion, you could put her in her high chair with stimulating toys stuck to it and right next to you in the kitchen (or wherever you are). Initially, you could sit with her and "play" with her showing her what the toys can do rather than leaving her there and expecting her to amuse herself. This might actually give her some positive experiences in the high chair rather than negative ones associated with food. It's pretty normal for a child her age to only amuse themselves for around 10 minutes anyway before wanting your attention.

With regards to her wanting you to "walk" her by the hands, do you have a walker (you know the ones on wheels) as this would save you having to hold her hands all the time.

Is she starting to crawl yet? If not, once she is doing this I bet you find she is able to entertain herself for a bit longer. It won't be that much longer and you'll wish she wanted to be held again!

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

They become indepenent so fast, why promote it?

The best way to have them play alone is to sit with them and play with the toy. Then the next time sit and play, then stop playing. Then next time as they play you do something else near them. Eventually with no upsets and no tears they'll play alone for a few hours.

WRT walking holding hands, I had two months of this, then I put DS in his cot, helped him stand holding onto the cot and showed him how to cruise. Best thing I ever did! He was walking independently within two weeks.

[Smoke Jaguar]

Recommend the Ergo Carrier - great all round support and can be worn back and front (great for feeding in!).
Also second the idea that independence is not what you want to enforce at this tender age. She will not want to be held at 8 years of age, for instance, so making the most of your 'together' time now will have her ready to move onto independence with far more confidence and a great foundation.
I can recommend a book called The Vital Touch by Sharon Heller - should be in your local library system, or they can order it in Makes a lot of sense of the early developmental stages and the closeness that babies require.
I always held my DS, cuddled at every opportunity etc and he is so exploratory now and very confident, physically and emotionally because I provided him with a very solid emotional base by just being there on call in the early days.
It's hard to fulfill your expected functions as a stay at home mum and be there fully for your kid, so sometimes we need to re-prioritise and let some other, less important things go and spend more time attending to the kidlets

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Something else I thought of when DS was 8m old - he'd not play alone too well, 10mins was a record (2-3 hours now!) so I'd pop him up on the worktop, give him a wooden spoon to chew/hit a pan with and give him a "cooking lesson", talking him through what I was doing, showing him the consistency of sauces etc - he was really interested and even if it took me 45 minutes to cook dinner he was transfixed. I also gave him raw veggies I was cutting (or he'd take them) and he'd play with them, taste them, sometimes eat them... may not work for you, but did for us. You could use play kitchen things if you'd rather.

We have a wrap carrier and it's great for us.

[Carmen2]

I feel so silly for trying to hope that DD becomes more independent. Come to think of it after having read the posts, I think you have all made a point. DD is 8 months and I know when she's capable to do things by herself then I'll be asking her for some cuddling time.

TBH, I've been getting some pressure from family and friends that I've been holding DD too much which will eventually get her to be more dependent of me. This is why I've been trying to promote some independency in DD. Poor DD, she must have thought that I have abandonned her.

I will take up on the advices regarding playing with her on the floor and then slowly do things around her. I have been prioritizing her over house chores but I have to keep up with DH's business accounting daily.

In Canada, baby walkers were banned because there was too many incidences. I guess in the mean time, I will have to be her walker. I'll start to place DD in her highchair next to me and teach her what her toys can do instead of just placing them in front of her.

She started crawling but crawling backwards?! I guess she still hasn't figure out how to crawl forward yet... On the other hand, she's been clinging onto furnitures and her cot and have been pulling herself up standing with the help of whatever is around for her to grab onto.

I think soon enough she will want to be by herself instead of being hold!

Thank you girls for giving me so many advices.