I cant take my almost 3 yr old DS shopping anymore!!!!

[Caz1971]

OMG, went to the shops today, in Target my DS wanted this toy Ok i got him a 4 dollar toy. He was fine. Then at Safeway he wanted a ball he saw. It never stops. If I say no, my goodness he starts to bawl so loud. So in the end I ended up getting his ball.

It has just started happening. I'm happy to just get him a lollipop or him to be quiet but now its not enough.

Will leave him at home I think or thinking abt doing grocery shopping online.

Have never really done the naughty chair thing as he hasnt been too bad but now its really escalating....

He's been very sooky lala too lately. Is it an age thing. He will be 3 in abt 3 weeks.

[Olive]

stop buying him things everytime you go, hes expecting it now and tantrums when he doesnt get something.
maybe give him a shopping list with picture and get him to find those things for you

[misty]

Listen to Olive.
Seriously, if he plays up then that needs to automatically mean he ISN"T getting something. Explain it to him. "I don't buy things when you are tantruming / screaming / etc". Learn to say "NO" and mean it. If you don't start now, I can garauntee you it will only get worse.

[Nelle]

Mine have thrown some shocking tantrums in stores, I feel your pain. Can you take someone with you the next few times, so that if he cracks it you can just leave (but still have someone to mind your trolley or finish the shopping).

Or you could promise a treat at the end, but you have to buy all the other things first? Online shopping is pretty good though. Even if you get groceries online and go out for your fruit and veg, then there's less at stake if you need to leave.

Distraction might work too...snacks? A toy from home? And don't shop when he's tired at all? All the best. xo

[Gigi]

we went thru this too.

the first few times are embarrassing, but if you have a practise/ work out what you're going to say - then stick to it - it does get easier.

toddlers are working out boundaries
"i wonder what happens if i throw a tantrum - will i get my own way"?
so i have a pat line for when this happens
"i am not going to reward naughty behaviour"
i keep repeating it
after a while, the behaviour starts to weaken, disappear, because your child comes to learn
"oh bum, i throw the tantrum, but don't get what i want, so no pay off, not worth it".

you will go thru some embarrassing moments in the shops
but many people who look, will be giving you sympathetic "yep, been there myself, you poor thing" type looks - cos i think EVERY parent goes thru it.

if you have the option (e.g a babysitter), NOT taking your child shopping is another thing to try e.g you will go with me again, when your behaviour improves. (if your child understands that).

i didn't use the naughty chair either. First i heard my local Child Youth HEalth recommended that method for children that are at least four, then by the time my child turned four, i read articles that made me think twice about the Naughty Step, actually being of benefit.

i avoid conflict, and when you have a child having a tantrum, becuase it's noisy and embarrassing, it's SO tempting, to just give in, to STOP the immediate embarrassment.
but it comes down to - can you handle the embarrassment a few times OR do you want to go broke, being blackmailed like this EVERY time you go shopping for the next 15 years?
Part of socialisation is teaching a child to accept the word "no". It is part of life. and you don't have to say it in a nasty way or anything. I look at what my child is wanting, i achnowledge what she is admiring (even if i can't stand it myself), and say something sympathetic to go with my "no".

hth

[Arcadia]

I tell Dd these things 'live at the shops' and we just visit them. She's younger than your ds though so prob not as aware.

I agree with other pp though, your ds has to understand you mean what you say. You could try validating his feelings too 'I can hear you're upset and you really want that toy, but the toy lives here' then distract, distract, distract!

Good luck!

Eta: I also disagree with the naughty step idea- he's not being naughty, he is testing boundaries which is his job. Our job as parents is to gently create and reinforce those boundaries. Punishment and shame do more harm than good IMO.