I feel like such a failure...

[HotI]

Em, rather than being a failure, mothers like you are doing a better job than most mothers - because the task you have is harder.

And when you do make advances, they feel so much better because they have been well-earned! Some kids just take longer to work out the whole sleep caper, and some don't need as much sleep as others, or need a bit more help to get there.

For me, accepting that my DD was a minimalist sleeper made a big difference. I was able to stop struggling so much and work with the circumstances that i had.

Have you tried feeding her to sleep on your bed during the day? You might get a rest too, or if your little one sleeps you can sneak out and have a cuppa.

Nothing wrong with co-sleeeping if it gets you more sleep.

[misty]

Just wanted to give you hugs. You are completely describing my experiences with my DD. You have had some good advice to try here. My tip is to try and find support. Someone who you can turn to and explain your frustrations, who will just sit and listen (not nessecarily give advice) and who can give you practical help when you are really struggling. (ie, they can take bubs for a walk outside - or somewhere you cann't hear bubs cry - while you have a bath or a sleep or a cry.) Because as distressing as the lack of sleep is, it is really the mental side of it all that is the big challenge.


The other thing I haven't heard mentioned yet (but I may have missed it) is the idea of a sleep school or a sleep consultant who actually comes into your home and helps you set up a routine you can live with. Talk to your mchn about it, I am sure they should have some suggestions as to where you can get these kinds of services.