Oooh hun You are soooo not a bad mother - sorry to say, the ones who do that all the time and don't feel bad might be much worse! I've done it too and just the other day Isabelle bit me which made me yell "no don't do that" REALLY loud at her, made her look at me and cry then I cried too because my arm was killing me and I felt so bad for yelling so loud and so she came to give me a cuddle and even patted me on the arm and said "shhh shhhh". I think she knew I was sorry for yelling. Don't beat yourself up hun, you are not pathetic and just because he is generally a good sleeper(Iz is too) doesn't make the times they don't sleep well any easier. You are doing a brilliant job, try to get DH or someone else to watch bub for even half an hour so you can have some time out for yourself.