So I am a new mother to a beautiful almost 1 month old little girl named Sophie. Sadly DF and I are saving to live on our own so we are living with my parents. I am so depressed as lately my little girl has been having some digestion problems and we have been trying different formula's and gripe water to help her out. In the mean time she is very fussy from this. That alone is already stressful but on top of it, my family is adding even more stress. Everyone wants to tell me how to raise my child. I can not stand it anymore. I lay Sophie on her back at night because that is what Dr.s say. My family says I should lay her on her belly. I swaddle her at night because I read it is not safe to just lay a blanket on top of babies as they could kick it in top of their heads and suffocate. Family is the opposite. I just want to cry. I love everyone;s advice but would rather trust her pediatrician.
It's so hard when you are given advice from people who mean well but are wrong. I think what you'll have to do is just smile and nod, agree with them - THEN DO IT YOUR WAY!! Trust your instincts. I hope it gets better for you.
Sucks doesnt it? Doesn't matter how old or young you are either.
Have a look at the SIDS Australia website....gives you heaps of research and reasons why what you are doing is right. I know you are in the US but the info is the same the world over.
your doing a great job those first weeks are so tough learning how to do everything and on top of it having to deal with well meaning family.
Listen to your instincts and go with what you feel is right. Maybe gently remind your family that its your baby and you want to do what you think is right for her!
Please try to put the stress behind you as hard as it is and enjoy your gorgeous girls while she is stll so tiny
hugs jess - i agree with what Bekz has said - often it is well meaning but outdated advice... i have also had to bring some close family up to speed on SIDS and other areas...
this is such an emotional time for us all and it cant be easy living with your family. trust your instincts and do what you know is best for S.
I had a similar situation with lots of conflicting midwife advice in hospital. i think it is good to choose someone who you trust (maybe your paed, you seem to trust him/her) and then go with their views etc - it is an easy way to sift through all the mounds of info you get bombarded with as a new mum.
you are doing a fab job!
thank you everyone. It is really hard. even as I write this tears come to my eyes. Being a new mom is so hard and it is even harder trying to act like I know what I am doing and people telling me I am wrong. My know it all sister is visiting also and all she wants to do is agree with my parents and talk about how great her kids are. I am not a bad mom I just want whst is best for my daughter. My family is trying to convince me that the reason she cries at night sometimes is because I dont let her sleep on her stomach.
I even caught my mom trying to put a heavy quilt not swaddled on top of her at night because she thought she was to cold. BABIES kick and usually the blanket will cover their face.
Jess - You are doing a wonderful job as mummy to little Sofie. I don't think there is a new mum or dad out there who hasn't had well meaning family and friends give advice. However, in your case it is hard because you live with them. This time must be really hard for you and I am sure your family are just trying to help, however as Sofie's mum it is your decision about how to parent your child and I would recommend you stick to your guns. I found that people give advice based on their own experience. For example when you were a baby the thing to do would have been to sleep baby on belly, so therefore your parents are drawing from their own experience. I would find some information about safe sleeping methods and show them to your parents to educate them. I had to give my mother information about introducing solids to babies, because she thought it was ok to give my 4 month old ice cream!!!!
My other suggestion would be to sit down and talk to your parents about how you are feeling. Have your partner there with you too.
I just might cry...
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