Ok I just don't know what t do anymore. My daughter is going through a really bad sage at the moment, crying and screaming, throwing herself on the floor for no reason. I'm constantly in tears, I have tried everything to stop her but she just keeps doing it. I have no family around to help out, my partner doesn't get home til 4pm and I am having a really bad pregnancy, I jusdtfeel like I am st my wits end. I can't take anymore. I have been diagnosed with severe depression and it's getting worse because I'm so stressed out. I can't afford to send her to day care just one day a week, sorry any advice for me?
you poor chook.
Sometimes I find that the best thing for me to do is just get out of the house for while. Even in awful weather I just rug us all up and head out to a shopping center with a play-space (or a play-cener if I'm feeling rich).
Have you had a chat with your MCHN? When one of my friends had PND and was pregnant with number 2 her nurse got her daughter a place in a childacre center one day a week that was subsidised by the government.
Renee, hugs from me too. Being pg with a toddler is hard at the best of times.
One thing that might help is to sleep when DD sleeps (does she still sleep during the day?). At least then you are more refreshed to deal with things in the afternoons. Also, I always find that Jack will be better behaved and play by himself well if I have spent time with him first. Maybe if you spend 20 mins reading her a book or playing with her (it can be something quiet if you are not feeling well), then she might be happy to have some self time without the tanties.
Kids at that age are very sensitive to changes going on around them, and also to adult stress and emotions. I know how hard it is, but the happier you can act around her the more it might help.
I also think Chloe's idea of trying to get subsidised day care is a good one. The break would make a huge difference for you.
Good luck sweetie, and remember, you won't be pg forever. It will get better, just try to take one day (or one hour) at a time. And talk to your DH. If you can provide moral support and also do some things to help around the house it will make a big difference.
Hi Renee
Sounds like you need a huge hug
I went through a similar stage with my youngest dd when she was around 2 and a half. It was then that i started looking into the effects of her diet on her behaviour. Maybe take a look at the fedupwithfoodadditives website. It may be able to help you out - or maybe not.
Hope things get better for you
Thanks heaps for your advice ladies. I never knew about the subsidised child care, will definately have a look into that. I don't have a MCHN, will my local dr be able to organise it do you think? I never get a break so it would be really good. She doesn't sleep during the day anymore which makes it hard. I know what you mean about them bein g sensitive to stress and emotions, I think it's worse because I am constantly on pain killers and they make me so drowsy and I feel like a terrbile mum because I can't watch my daughter properly or even play with her but I do the book reading and colouring in, she comes and jumps on the lounge with me. And I rung up DP while he was at work today, I was in tears, didn't know what to do so he left and came home so I definately have his support which is great. He has taken her for a walk to the park and told me to have a rest Well thanks heaps, I'm feeling a bit better now.
Thanks Jazmum, it's worth a shot!
Do you have any Playgroups in your local area? Perhaps try getting out to one, i know its probably the last thing you feel like doing but honestly, getting out and talking to other mums is one of the best things you can do, and things dont seem so bad when you are out and about with other people around you.
I agree with Dee, playgroups are awesome! I'm in much the same situation as you, without a whole lot of support, and the nurses who run the govt funded group I go to, are starting to take Annika off my hands for a few minutes each time, because she has become far to clingy to me. It helps to wear the kids out, and gives them social skills as well.
When I watch my friends toddler, I have always found outside time to be a lifesaver. Sandpits are good, because then you can sit without having to do much. Music works wonders as well, especially the wiggles for some reason. They're gods gift to kids lol. Doing little things like this, giving her individual attention is really good. Perhaps she is acting out, because she's wanting more attention now?
A lot of temper tantrums are caused because the toddler doesn't have the words to say how they are feeling, so they get frustrated. When she is having a dummy spit, tell her, 'I know you're angry, but you'll feel better soon', and all that sort of stuff. Also, before she gets too agro with you, try and distract her. For example, if she's refusing to do something, start singing 'This is the way we put our clothes on, put our clothes on, put our clothes on' etc. If she's being persistant touching something you dont want her to, put it away.
It's also worth keeping a diary to see what sets off her temper tantrums. Is there certain situations, or certain times of the day when they are most likely to happen? By looking at the overall pattern of these tantrums, you may be able to find some ways to prevent a few of them.
Positive reinforcement is much more effective than discipline IMO. For instance, if your DD has been really well behaved at the shops, tell her how proud you are. It'll make her understand how to behave.
Give your toddler fair warning of when something is about to change. If she's all comfy watching telly, but you want her to come to the table to eat, warn her a couple of times in advance.
When she's having a tantrum, keep your cool. Pretend like it doesn't bother you in the least, even if you feel like you're going to pull your hair out. It'll help her understand that her tantrum didn't change anything for or against her.
I hope you could find something helpful in my ramblings lol. Hang in there, sweet, this too shall pass.
Re child-care, an option to think about is contact your local Community Centre and see if they run something like "occasional care", which is usually a small group of kids in a structured program for a few hours (like 9am-1pm) and is usually substantially cheaper than using a commercial childcare centre.
I agree that MCHN's are a great resource - you should be able to link with one, perhaps check with your local council and request that they put you in touch.
Playgroups are great as the other ladies suggested.....
Sometimes (and of late with the weather, more often) i take my girls to a cafe/kids playcentre....they frolic around for 1-2 hrs and i get to sit back and have a latte. I used to feel like a lazy mummy, but being 7 months preggers, a DH that works two jobs i get little help during the day too....i also find it exhausts them (the play centre) so by 630pm at night, they were well and truly ready for bed.....
can be expensive though...but once a fortnight or so doesnt seem to hurt. It gets us out too...we all enjoy it !!!
Hope these suggestions helps....good luck hon. !
I notice you don't have too long to go in your pg (congratulations)..maybe all the changes etc are upsetting her? She is bound to know that somethings going on.
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i really need some help
you poor chook.
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